6 years ago, almost to the day, my family and I were able to bring our son, Luca, home from the NICU after a 12 day stay following his premature birth. It was a very triumphant, heartfelt moment, and I am forever grateful that his stay resulted in good health, with no lasting complications. He is a healthy 6 year old boy now, and I sometimes forget how tiny he was back then. I remember how happy and relived I was to finally take him home, safe and sound, after his hospital stay.
Mr. Luca at his 1 year old birthday. Proud big sister not far away, always eager to help and guide him.
He was born about 4 weeks early, at 35 weeks+6 days. Due to him being so young, he was having problems maintaining his temperature. Hence, he spent many days spent in the NICU under the experienced, watchful eyes of the nurses and physicians. Being postpartum, I was full of emotions and was fatigued and overwhelmed, but I had an underpinning, massive desire to take my new little guy home. I was indescribably happy when the NICU team gave us the good news that March 10, 2016 would be Mr. Luca’s discharge date, and we could take him home with us to help complete our family.
Thinking back, I contemplated how different the results would have been for both me and my child decades ago. I am astounded and amazed each day by modern medicine and all of the knowledge and technology we have acquired. It enabled my son’s care to go so smoothly and enabled such good outcomes. I realize our issues were very small in retrospect as well, compared to other family’s trials. I can only imagine with what other families go through with children born even earlier or with more challenging health concerns. My outcomes also would like have been very different if the physicians and nurses did not have their experience and modern technology to monitor me closely, with my vitals, how my labor was progressing, and how my child was doing during the labor process.
Seeing also how doctors care for me and my family as we see them, I marvel at how different things were 50-100 years ago. I often credit our good health and good outcomes on all of this collective knowledge our healthcare teams have obtained.
Working in telemedicine, a relatively new player in medicine, I see that medicine still has a lot of evolution to go. I know that telemedicine has limitations, but it also opens many doors in caring for patients. I can see them right where they live and work. I can see patients with limited access to care, and all it takes is each of us having a good device (computer, cell phone, or tablet) and a good internet connection. I never shy from telling patients when telemedicine is not the right avenue to go down. But I am surprised each day by how much I can accomplish, and how grateful patients and their families are for the care we provide with this service.
Going forward, I will keep observing how modern medicine can help me, my family members and friends, and my patients. I know that things will always evolve and change, as things must. I hope that things continue to evolve and improve. I hope good and better outcomes become common place. I hope that everyone can enjoy better health because of all of these continued changes and advances.
As a parent, I hope to instill in my children an appreciation and respect for flexibility. With this, I am talking about mental and emotional flexibility, though physical flexibility is to be respected and is something to strive for too. (Though I admit, my mental flexibility far surpasses my physical flexibility at this time. My physical flexibility is yet another thing I need to improve upon. My kids can likely teach me a thing or two!) I am by no means an expert in flexibility, but I truly value the skill of “going with the punches” and being able to bend to adapt to whatever situation I am in.
Teaching each other the fine art of cartwheels (which require grace, poise, and of course, flexibility).
I think patience is another valuable skill closely related to flexibility. Without patience, you can easily lose your cool and waste negative energy wishing and ranting for things to be a different way. Instead, being more accepting of a situation helps you better tackle whatever challenge are coming your way. And in addition, flexibility, over rigidity, is definitely key to overcoming life’s challenges.
A good way I try to show this to my children is by helping them navigate their afternoon routines. It never seems to go to plan to get all their homework and afternoon activities done in the exact order I plan. Instead of panicking or being upset by this, I feel it is way more productive (and less dramatic) to accept the events as they come, and simply tackle the next step when you can. This teaches grace under pressure, but also helps them navigate the fine art of time management. Time is truly valuable to me, a finite resource you cannot get back, and I hope to train my children to better utilize the time they have. Being young, I can see that time feels infinite and plentiful. Perhaps though as we get older, we start to see the reality of the finite aspects of time, and that it is a gift to be cherished.
One thing that has helped me tremendously with flexibility is goal setting, and trying to prioritize my goals. I try to set up to 3 goals per day, and prioritize them. If I can get at least one of them done, as I planned it, I am pleased. Getting all 3 is a nice bonus, but if I cannot get to all 3, I try to be more accepting of this, particularly if I got my #1 goal done. I won’t totally abandon those other goals, but I try to look forward in my week and see where they can fit.
Again, this is a lifelong pursuit to be more flexible and patient. But I hope that I can guide my children how to do this well, by giving advice and by setting the example. With these two invaluable tools of flexibility and patience, I can foresee my children being valuable members of a workplace, a family, and a team. They will be productive and well respected, and I think they will be well adjusted and more satisfied with their lives and accomplishments.
Like many of you, I am struggling with our “new normal” during the COVID-19 pandemic. It seems…
Like many of you, I am struggling with our “new normal” during the COVID-19 pandemic. It seems surreal what is happening to all of us.
Embrace the changing landscape, even if it includes a new virus. Or leopards.
The initial phase of quarantine was very hard for my family and me. My children were home from school and daycare. My husband also had times of working from home. Luckily, I am working from home with my job, and I am incredibly grateful for this. If I had to go out, I would constantly worry about my risks of contracting COVID-19 as a physician in an office, a hospital, or nursing home. There would likely be a need to isolate myself from my family. As I hug and kiss my family members each day, I remind myself of my special blessed situation working as a telemedicine physician full time, in my own home office each and every day.
As the nation begins to slowly reopen, it has also been difficult to see the spike in cases and the worry and angst this brings to all of us. I try to remind myself constantly, however, to control what I can control, and leave and let be other things I cannot.
I can wear a mask. I can practice frequent hand washing. I can social distance as often as is feasibly possible, limiting time out among strangers. If I get sick (which thankfully, I have not so far), I will stay home. I do this to keep myself and my loved ones safe, but also to do my part to protect others in the community.
Are these changes intrusive? At times and in ways, yes. It is hard not having usual activities, hard not to go out and do the things I am used to. Are they impossible to do? I do not think so. Yes, they can be challenging to maintain. This pandemic, however, is not finished.
The virus that causes COVID-19 is still out there, able to infect so many. It is incredibly contagious, and that is the public health concern and my worry as a physician. This contagious nature of the illness are what these measures (mask wearing, social distancing, frequent hand hygiene) are trying to combat. Until there is more definitive/effective therapy and hopefully prevention measures like a vaccine, this “new normal” will be here unfortunately for some time. It has been difficult for me to accept this, but I must. As above, I cannot control this pandemic, or make it go away. But I can control my thoughts and my actions. I can focus on keeping my mental health and physical health as optimized as possible. I can continue to live life in ways that keep me and my loved ones as safe and healthy as possible.
I think all parents strive to teach their kids to love others. The golden rule is often something we try to instill in our kids: “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” (Wouldn’t it be nice if we all…
I think all parents strive to teach their kids to love others. The golden rule is often something we try to instill in our kids: “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” (Wouldn’t it be nice if we all simply followed this maxim? I think a lot of conflicts and disagreements could be solved a lot easier and with a lot less pain and negativity.) Often I teach my kids to love others by correcting their actions when they aren’t in line with social norms. “Please share your toys.” “Do not hit or bite others.” “Take turns.” I also try to do this through example. (Sometimes, this idea of setting the example can be challenging, if I am not having the best day. I try to remind myself, though, that those little impressionable faces are watching me.) . I think a big reason we try to teach kids to love others and treat them right is to “make the world a better place.” And keep things calm and orderly. Who wants conflict and arguing all the time? The opposite is often preferred. But I think a bigger driver for me in teaching my kids to love others is to create a way for our kids to be loved.
I love these kids with all of my heart, for always. I hope to teach them, too, to love others and follow the Golden Rule.
You cannot force others to like you, in spite of what the media may portray. (You cannot always buy the right shoes, clothes, cars, or other “stuff” to get others to respect and love you. That won’t stop the commercials, though, from appealing to your desire to “fit in.”) . Some people like you, some people don’t. But you can certainly tilt the table in your favor if you are simply nice to others. As the old saying goes, “What goes around, comes around.” I think the scariest thing to think about as a parent is the fact that your child will one day be on their own. And someday, you won’t always be there for them, be it because they are independent and are out on the real world, or you have passed on to the next life. Scary and humbling for sure.
My simple wish for my kids, that I think underlies all of my actions with them as a mom, is to make sure they love others, and thus, in return, I hope they will be loved, too. I want them to have friends and support. When they are little, the support and loving environment is set up for them, and me, my husband, and our collection of supportive family (e.g. aunts, uncles, grandmas and grandpas) all love my kids to pieces. As my children get older and start getting into the school system (Maddie is already there!), this circle expands. Teachers, classmates, bus drivers, staff, coaches. I think this mimics our entry into the “real world” as well. Each year and each step along the way toward becoming an “adult,” we are introduced to a bigger social circle and more variables when it comes to “fitting in” to the world. It is scary. But it is also an opportunity to gain support and community.
Mmmm…chocolate covered pretzels! Even more delicious, though, are these cute smiles and the sibling love I see in this photo.
I think another challenge I set for myself as a parent is trying to balance sensitivity and confidence in my children. I want my child to be in tune with others’ emotions. This is no easy task, and one that is learned through trial and error and nurturing our emotional intelligence. I am sure we all know some adults who could learn to be more sensitive. At the same time, though, we do not want our children to be over-sensitive, and afraid to engage in social situations. This takes practice, and I still struggle with this concept. A counterpoint, then, to sensitivity, in my mind, would be self confidence. I would want my children to have a nice balance of the two qualities in their personalities: sensitivity and self confidence. What is the right ratio of the two? I have no idea. I have a feeling it is different for different people and different personalities. I am sure parenting (and life) would be a lot easier if we knew how to navigate social and emotional situations better. Where is the instruction manual for parenting, and for life? I think, though, by my reflection on this topic and being mindful of this goal, I will better nurture both of these qualities in my children. I hope, too, I am also working to develop these two qualities in myself. As a physician, I see how both sensitivity and a sense of self-confidence are crucial to delivering good quality, yet compassionate, care. Too much of one or the other is not a good thing.
So again, this is my simple, but challenging, wish I have for my children. I will love my children with all of my heart, forever. That will not change. But some day, I hope that by my example and by my gentle guidance, they will be good and loving to others in all they do. It will ideally be an auto-pilot kind of behavior, that is, to be nice to others, and I won’t need to be sitting over their shoulder making sure they are doing the right thing. They will be sensitive to the needs of others, and yet confident in their own abilities and actions to get things done, and not be overburdened by fear or self doubt. And, I hope that by being loving and caring to others, good karma will come around and they will be loved in return, even after I am gone.
Having 2 young kids, I am well familiar with the fact that toddlers assert their independence with the powerful word, “NO!” at around 2-3 years of age. As an adult, though, I wonder why this skill has faded in myself. I have found it hard to say “No” when I don’t want to do something. I often find myself saying yes to things that do not bring me satisfaction or joy. It may be out of a sense of obligation, or guilt, or a desire not to hurt others feelings, or a desire to show I am able to take on more and be responsible and “do it all.” But maybe I should learn from my young ones and use this powerful word, “No!” more frequently and more freely, to reclaim my time and sanity.
Learn to say “no” to feel free (and bonus points if you dance to celebrate it)!
Our lives are busy and hectic. We have plenty of expectations – at work, at home, and with our activities and communities. I’ve found one thing that helps calm my mind and put things in better perspective is to list my values and priorities each week, each month, and each year. I know then where I want to go, and what kind of life I want. It is a hard practice, but if I am faced with an email asking me to do something, I have started to ask myself, “Is this in line with my values?” “Will this bring me closer to the goals and life and future I want?” If the answer is “Meh” or, “Well, not really,” I pause and really try to stop myself from an automatic reply of “Sure, I’ll do it.” (This is, of course, a work in progress, and I still have times where I reflexively say “Yes, sure I’ll do it” and shortly thereafter, regret it.)
Throughout college and medical training, I felt a drive to say yes to pretty much everything I could. You don’t want to close any doors to opportunities in the future when you are early on in your training or career. However, I am now more settled into my career and busy life, and have more life experience, and can see what kind of “me” I truly want to be. And with that life wisdom, I can see that the mentality of always saying “Yes!” can be harmful, and inadvertently detract or prevent me from me reaching my goals. It is not possible to do it all. (I’m sure we all wish this was possible, but it really isn’t.) There are only 24 hours in a day. Life is about choices, and to do life right, sometimes you must sacrifice some things to concentrate and nurture the things you want. And to get where you want to go, sometimes you must let go of things don’t want or absolutely need. In short, as my children would unwaveringly and succinctly put it, “No!” This is a tough skill, and one I hope to continue to get better at.
These confident little ones never hesitate to tell me what they want, or what they don’t want!
But maybe I should acknowledge that my children are perhaps wiser than me in this respect, and I should take from their example. I will continue to work on this, as I seem to have forgotten the fine art of saying “no.” If I don’t want something, I should proudly declare “No!” with confidence! (It may help to visualize my little one saying it, and copy his or her unwavering style.) I’ll keep practicing. My kids will unquestionably demonstrate this skill of saying “No!” on a daily basis in the future, an unfailing reminder to me how I can live a better life. It helps to have reminders like this, and it helps when these reminders are cute to boot.
I think my ultimate goal as a parent is to raise happy, well adjusted little people that will some day turn into adult versions of themselves that in turn are productive members of society that will be liked and loved by those around them. Not too much to ask, right? How in the world can you accomplish that? Indeed, it is no easy task. And parenting is not being simply a boss or drill sergeant. You are not casting these children out of clay to create them in the exact image you want. There is an art to parenthood. And when kids get to a certain age, you are often simply guiding them, and hoping the lessons you are teaching will influence their behaviors. Indeed, I see parallels in my work as a physician working with my patients. I am only with my patients for a fraction of their days or weeks or months. I discuss with them what I would like for their health and well being, and then, it is the patient’s prerogative to either follow that advice or not. The patient is in control of their own health destiny, not me. I think the same thing eventually goes with our kids. They are under our roof for a brief moment in time from age o to 18 (though of course, this feels like an eternity). Eventually, they will be on their own. Scary, right?
Swing fun!
Here are the big lessons I hope to teach my kids:
Be nice. Being kind to others is a way to make the world a better place. This does not mean being a pushover. But it does help to be nice in life to gain friends. And being a jerk certainly won’t win you many admirers. This can be a tough thing to teach a toddler or young child. However, I think eventually, the playground teaches kids that if they are not nice, they won’t have too many playmates. And that isn’t very fun.
Do the right thing, even when no one is looking. This includes telling the truth, even when it hurts. Of course, there is tact in life, and there is a time and place to be gentle and kind with your words, which is a skill I think all of us struggle with. This integrity and honesty concept is a tough thing to teach, and more something I hope to emulate for my kids. Honesty, unfortunately, is also not a given in our society. Indeed, I wish more of the world were honest. Too often, we witness folks cutting corners as they reason, “well, what does it really matter?” I feel it does matter, at least to me, to know I did a job to the best possible ability I could at the time. I can look back at the product of my work and know that it is the best work I could put out there.
Try new things. As I get older, I find it is easy to get set in my ways, and avoid the unknown. But branching out and trying new things every few months forces me to grow. And it is a heck of a lot more fun than doing the same old thing over and over again. As the years go on, I hope to never stop learning, or being creative. I hope to always try to do new things. By setting an example in my own life of being open to new things, I hope my kids also are adventurous with their time and talents.
Work hard, play hard. Life is a balancing act. It is important to put your best foot forward when you are working. But it is also important to take a step back and truly relax. This latter part of life, relaxing, does not always come easy to me. However, I see that practicing and emulating relaxing and self care releases some of my pent up stress and helps me recover and become a better version of me. It also shows a good example for my children as they start advancing into the school system. As the old adage goes, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. And who wants to be dull or boring? There is too much of life to live and so much to learn about.
Save. This means being diligent and careful with your resources. This includes your time and money. Money is a tough thing to teach to kids, but I again plan to do this by example by living a deliberate, relatively frugal life.
One child happy, one child not so much. Can’t win them all, I guess.
I’m sure there are other great lessons out there to teach kids, but these are the ones I truly value right now. And who knows? This may change as the next several years wear on. I see these lessons, however, not just something to instill in my kids, but as something I hope to also strive for, as I hope to become the best version of me that I can be.
It seems like a short time ago I was pregnant with my daughter during my medical residency. (In reality, though, that was 7 years ago. Where did those years go?) . I can still recall…
It seems like a short time ago I was pregnant with my daughter during my medical residency. (In reality, though, that was 7 years ago. Where did those years go?) . I can still recall wearing maternity clothes and compression stockings during my pregnancy, dealing with being on my feet while carrying her and being a resident. I can remember the fatigue as I was working and as she was developing within me during my pregnancy. Coupling all of the pregnancy demands with my medical residency expectations, I am not sure now how I managed it all. This was of course an early example of my busy doctor mom life in the making.
My daughter will be swinging into 1st grade soon!
I remember being in the hospital for her delivery, and the newness and fear and associated with being a brand new parent. (They are giving us this small being, and we get to take them home with us? But…what do we do now?) I also remember taking her to the doctor for her newborn checkup a couple of days after going home from the hospital. A wee little thing at that point, she was 5 lbs, 4 oz at that visit. I remember a fellow parent in the waiting room commented on how tiny she looked.
Now, this little girl is 6 years old. She is about to enter 1st grade later this month! I can hardly believe this, as time seems to be marching on without me realizing it. The advice by fellow parents is right – time really does fly by, sometimes going too fast.
I value my time with my kids now when they are little. But it can be trying and exhausting, and sometimes I find myself wishing they were both a bit older. That would give me a break from all of the hands on care that toddlers and young children require. But other times, I realize this time is fleeting. And raising older kids will introduce a whole host of new challenges – school activities and after school activities, navigating the social scene, etc. There will be a time my kids do not want me to hold them (and I won’t be able to carry them as they will be too heavy/too big!). They won’t want to hold my hand, being too cool/too old for it. They won’t want me to cuddle with them at the end of the day. It will tug at my heart for sure when that day comes. But I am trying to imprint on my memory now the times I have with them when they are little.
This time with my children is a gift. We get 18 years to raise them, and guide them on this path of life. I hope to raise 2 strong, hard working people. We still have quite a ways to go. But looking at my calendar and seeing “Maddie’s first day of 1st grade” is around the bend, I realize that this 18 years is going by faster than it seems. I think looking forward is good, to plan, and to arrange a life you want. But it is also vital to look back and see how far we’ve come, and to really take time to enjoy the present moment.
Feeling blessed and fortunate to have these two little ones in my life.
Time is precious, and unfortunately, it is not renewable. You can’t get time back. (But wouldn’t time travel be amazing?) I hope I am spending my time wisely, particularly as I am spending it with my husband and children. I am so grateful for my family and this time I have with them. Looking back on past memories (good and bad helps solidify this gratitude within me, and makes me proud of how far we’ve come. On hard days, especially, it is easy for me to overlook this gift of time. But I try to remind myself of the positive, and how beautiful and powerful being a parent truly is. I hope to never forget how valuable this time is with my family, and how blessed I am to travel on this life journey with my husband and children.
I read a wonderful book, Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, a few months ago. This book was recommended during a continuing education workshop I recently attended. And I greatly recommend it to anyone else who hasn’t read it yet.
I wish I had read it sooner, particularly as it relates to raising my kids, particularly as it relates to toddlerhood. (Terrible 2’s and the classic toddler tantrums are a perfect example of how poor emotional control can manifest when faced with negative emotions. Not something that adults should really be doing, though I admit sometimes I want to. And I don’t think I am the only one. Strong emotions can really inhibit your self control sometimes.)
The book, Emotional Intelligence, outlines what emotional intelligence is, and why is is important. I admit this was a relatively new concept to me. But one that is intuitive and vital for all aspects of life.
A brief definition of emotional intelligence, or EQ, is the ability for someone to recognize, harness, and express one’s emotions, and recognizing how emotions a person feels can affect relationships and how one interacts with others. Not easy to do, but something very important to fit in with a society where we greatly benefit from teamwork and working with others.
Two Pathways for Emotions
A concept I found really pivotal in the book is that the brain has 2 pathways when it comes to processing emotions. One pathway goes through a slower pathway that travels through the cortex, or higher reasoning part of the brain.
The faster pathway, which can be thought of as an evolutionary protection mechanism, goes from the thalamus straight to the amygdala. This is what makes you have your “fight or flight” response to a perceived threat (which may indeed not really be a threat). The second fast pathway is what drives me to startle and feel fearful when I hear a loud noise, or feel my cat brush along my leg when I don’t realize she is there. Afterward, with the help of my higher cortex, I reason out why I had the response I did.
I can see how this drives me to often react unhealthily to stress in my daily life. Just realizing this has helped me become more self aware of my actions and thoughts. And forgive myself for occasional bad actions. I am nowhere near perfect, but I think just understanding emotions and emotional intelligence better helps calm me and drives me to be better.
Childhood Development and Emotional Intelligence
The book also describes emotional intelligence and how it develops in childhood. I kind of think of this as the key concepts kindergarteners learn. Listen. Share. The Golden Rule – Do unto others as you would want to be done to you. After reading about the concept and analyzing my own life and the lives of my children, I see how vital this concept really is. And how hard it can sometimes be to control. IQ or “book smarts” as I like to think of is something that is geared toward in our modern school system.
But to really thrive in life, I see that having just book smarts is not enough. People smarts (and emotional smarts) will actually get your further (and create a happier, more fulfilled life).
I plan to read more in the future about Emotional Intelligence as it pertains to children, and how it can impact my children as they develop. I am trying more and more to help my children name their emotions. And I have analyzed how good my children are at recognizing emotions, in me, in themselves, or others. The fast pathway of the brain I think can easily pick up on negative versus positive emotion. But it takes a bit more learning, experience, and thought to see what exactly that emotion is, and what to do about it.
My daughter easily reads annoyance or tiredness on my face, but sometimes says “why are you mad?” This is a good (but embarrassing) reminder to adapt my facial expression (but also my own feelings and thoughts) to better suit my interactions with her. And I try to take this further when talking with my other family members, coworkers, and patients.
Like I said, I am still a work in progress (but aren’t we all).I plan to continue to develop my own skills in emotional intelligence. I think I have always intuitively recognized that emotional intelligence is vital to good relationships and success in the real world. And as I raise my young kids, I hope I can help them better recognize and harness their emotions, so they can be happy, loved, helpful members of society.
Digitalization of Society and Its Relationship to Emotion
Though our society is becoming more digital and fragmented, there remains a great deal of emotion in our lives and that will never change. Think of how a brash, “thoughtless” comment on the internet can make you feel sad, anxious, or angry. When you engage your higher learning centers in your cortex, however, and start to look at possibilities of what the other person was feeling, you can realize why you, in reaction, felt how you did. For me, naming that emotion helps me disengage, and often forgive the comment. And not to take things to heart, particularly if that is more harmful than helpful.
Self Care and Its Importance to Emotions
If I am tired, stressed, or overworked, my emotional reserve to control myself goes out the window. This fact has made me focus more on self care – sleep, stress reduction via hobbies and time away from work, eating well, and exercise.
If I have a good nights sleep, I think I make better cognitive decisions. But my emotions are also calmer. This I think is a good example of how EQ and IQ can overlap and interact. And how the mind, the body, your emotions are interdependent and intertwined.
Nurturing Emotional Intelligence in Others
Like I described above, I am trying to help my kids navigate the tumultuous world of their internal emotions. But I also hope to set an example, for my kids and for everyone else I interact with, including my patients. I see a lot how emotions can create rifts in families and relationships Looking at things from afar, it is easy to judge and think about how sometimes silly these fights can seem. But delving into conversations with my patients, and truly spending 10-15 minutes walking in their shoes, I see how things get a bit murky and difficult. I recognize that emotions, thoughts, and facts get intertwined. And how hard it can be to forgive. But how powerful and freeing it can be to forgive and let go.
Parting Thoughts
I hope to continue to be vigilant in recognizing emotions, not just in myself but in everyone around me. To do this well, I believe it first takes recognition of this idea, and self study. I plan to read more books about this, particularly how it pertains to childhood development. There is a lot more I can learn about it. I am steadily recognizing too that good self care (rest, nutrition, exercise, play) is vital in ensuring I have good self control and am setting myself up for success in managing my emotions.
Just like every skill in life, this takes practice. I am trying to train myself to not let the fast emotional pathway control my reactions, and instead work constantly to engage the slower, higher thinking pathway. This will lead to better outcomes and less regrets. Since learning about Emotional Intelligence and how the emotional centers of the brain work, I am more explicit in naming my own emotions and learning how they drive me to act.
As a parent, I am also seeing how this naming of emotions is crucial in helping to calm my children if a tantrum arises and they are not getting their way. It eases misunderstandings and miscommunications. My kids feel “heard.”
Happy smiles.
As a doctor, I am striving to use my understanding of emotions to choose words and actions that are more beneficial to everyone around me. I believe it has helped me better see those around me, particularly my patients, in a new light. I feel better able to comprehend their emotions, and how emotions impact their choices in life. And I feel it has improved my communication skills and ability to understand what others are communicating to me. I think and hope this practice will help me to continue to grow and improve, as a doctor, a mom, and a human being.
2 pathways when it comes to processing emotions. One pathway goes through a slower pathway that travels through the cortex, or higher reasoning part of the brain.
on the internet can make you feel sad, anxious, or angry. When you engage your higher learning centers in your cortex, however, and start to look at possibilities of what the other person was feeling, you can realize why you, in reaction, felt how you did. For me, naming that emotion helps me disengage, and often forgive the comment. And not to take things to heart, particularly if that is more harmful than helpful.