Dwelling on My Thoughts
Thoughts are powerful. I am learning through slow but deliberate practice that mindfulness is a great tool to harness and control your thoughts. It is easy to dwell on something from your perspective, and fail to see how others may see the same situation. And it can be easy for me to get stuck in my own head a lot, to the point that a whole day seems to pass by without me living in the moment. I’ve started some small exercises to be more present. If I don’t do this, I find a whole day or a whole week speeds by without me really living.
Practicing Mindfulness in My Day
I’ve tried to be more mindful in little snippets and moments in my life. When I wake up, I concentrate on my senses. How the bed feels against my back. The way my eyes feel as I open them. The sounds around me.
As I brush my teeth, I concentrate on how the bristle feels, on what the toothpaste tastes like, how my body is able to do unconsciously go through the motor actions to brush my teeth.
As I drive, I try to see how things look around me with attentive eyes. A person walking down the street with their pet. Someone walking to the bus stop. Feeling how the steering wheel or how my seat belt feels against me.
At work, as I enter a patient room, I concentrate on how the computer feels in my hand. How the doorknob feels. Cold or warm. How the ground feels against my feet. Thinking a small mantra, “I am here for this patient. This moment is for them.”
Defining My Meaning In Life
This of course isn’t second nature. It takes practice. But doing this has helped me start experiencing more. And feeling more balanced, happier, and more fulfilled. I take each day and try to live it more. God has given me so many gifts and so many senses. I sometimes forget this. I worry about little but trivial things. Paying bills. Finishing emails. Cleaning the house. And often these thoughts crowd out the bigger and more important picture. Why am I on this earth? How can I make my family members’ lives better? How can I make my patient’s lives better?
I think purpose and meaning in life are crucial. This is a tough thing to define and wrap up nicely in a little bow. I am coming to realize, however, that life is a journey of discovery, and on this journey, we get to define our meaning. Life isn’t easy. It is full of struggle, negativity, and challenges. But I feel that these negative things and challenges can teach us about ourselves and what we are capable of. And it can make us stronger and a more complete, more fulfilled human being.
Next Steps: Meditation And Nurturing Self Awareness
My next plan in life is committing to small meditation practices every day, each morning, before life gets away from me. I will begin this at the start of next month. (It always tends to work out better when I start on the first of a month! Must be something psychological.)
I will try using one of the many mindful apps out there. (I haven’t decided which one yet. Perhaps HeadSpace or Aaptiv, which are currently on my phone. I recently read Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Hectic World, by Mark Williams, which also offers some free meditation tracks online. So many choices).
But to keep things successful and doable, I will commit to a small goal of 5 minutes/day. I know that I will often want to exceed that, but if I make it a small goal, I will be able to check it off of my to do list. And thus I will feel accomplished and productive (rather than kicking myself for leaving something else for tomorrow).
I hope that by beginning to do this regularly, I will reap both physical and mental benefits of meditation. I have read several articles on how this improves performance. And most importantly, I will be eager to see how it improves my self awareness and nurtures my goal of mindfulness and being truly present in this one life I have been given.