Category: Time Management

The Fine Art of Being Flexible

As a parent, I hope to instill in my children an appreciation and respect for flexibility.  With this, I am talking about mental and emotional flexibility, though physical flexibility is to be respected and is something to strive for too. (Though I admit, my mental flexibility far surpasses my physical flexibility at this time.  My physical flexibility is yet another thing I need to improve upon.  My kids can likely teach me a thing or two!)  I am by no means an expert in flexibility, but I truly value the skill of “going with the punches” and being able to bend to adapt to whatever situation I am in.

Teaching each other the fine art of cartwheels (which require grace, poise, and of course, flexibility).

I think patience is another valuable skill closely related to flexibility.  Without patience, you can easily lose your cool and waste negative energy wishing and ranting for things to be a different way.  Instead, being more accepting of a situation helps you better tackle whatever challenge are coming your way.  And in addition, flexibility, over rigidity, is definitely key to overcoming life’s challenges.

 

A good way I try to show this to my children is by helping them navigate their afternoon routines.  It never seems to go to plan to get all their homework and afternoon activities done in the exact order I plan.  Instead of panicking or being upset by this, I feel it is way more productive (and less dramatic) to accept the events as they come, and simply tackle the next step when you can.  This teaches grace under pressure, but also helps them navigate the fine art of time management.  Time is truly valuable to me, a finite resource you cannot get back, and I hope to train my children to better utilize the time they have.  Being young, I can see that time feels infinite and plentiful.  Perhaps though as we get older, we start to see the reality of the finite aspects of time, and that it is a gift to be cherished.

 

One thing that has helped me tremendously with flexibility is goal setting, and trying to prioritize my goals.  I try to set up to 3 goals per day, and prioritize them.  If I can get at least one of them done, as I planned it, I am pleased.  Getting all 3 is a nice bonus, but if I cannot get to all 3, I try to be more accepting of this, particularly if I got my #1 goal done.  I won’t totally abandon those other goals, but I try to look forward in my week and see where they can fit.

 

Again, this is a lifelong pursuit to be more flexible and patient.  But I hope that I can guide my children how to do this well, by giving advice and by setting the example. With these two invaluable tools of flexibility and patience, I can foresee my children being valuable members of a workplace, a family, and a team.  They will be productive and well respected, and I think they will be well adjusted and more satisfied with their lives and accomplishments.

Timing is Everything – With Better Sleeps Come Better Energy

I have gave the sleep energy tracker app, Rise, a try, and have found it insightful into my energy patterns.  The app lists my energy peaks and dips throughout the day, depending on when I go to bed and when I wake up. I can compare what these graphs show and how I feel, and I find it interesting how it shifts depending on the amount and quality of sleep I get the days before.   The app makes the argument that you can catch up on sleep (though I have read in other places this is not possible).  So it encourages me to go to bed a bit earlier for a few days here or there to catch up, or to catch a quick cat nap in my afternoon lulls.

Our cat, Oscar, sure knows how to catch a nap on a comfy, sleeping Luca.

Instead of fighting my tired times in the early afternoon (that “afternoon slump” we all are familiar with), I see them as times now to get mundane and simpler tasks done, like packing lunches, putting away laundry, and answering simple emails.  I admit now that those times are not the ideal time for a creative process or a process that takes a lot of brain power. And when I get a chance, I take the app’s suggestion and try to do a short burst of exercise like a brisk walk or (if I be so lucky that the stars align!) a short nap.

 

As I am getting older, I see the value of being more in tune with my body and its energy tank.  The energy tank is not infinite, sad but true, and getting older I think this gets more and more apparent.  I have tried often (particularly when I was in a younger, more spry state of mind) to push through my tired spells.  But in the long run, working or pushing while tired often yields less quality results for me.  And I just feel crabbier and unhappy.

 

I think the hardest thing to accept is that I do need more sleep than I grant myself.  This is something I am working on improving.  In an ideal situation, I think I would go to bed when my kids go to bed.  But there are always more tasks and chores (and good books to read) left on my to do list that I try to squeeze in.  I need to learn to accept that it is okay to leave things undone, and give in to my body’s melatonin window and let sleep overtake me.

 

I can see my “sleep debt” in the app that is the sleep I am behind on.  It is almost always (sadly) negative, except when I was on a nice, restful vacation.  (I guess there is hope someday when I retire!)   I can see how that affects my mood and my mental energies, and it gives me motivation to squeeze in my tasks and “to do” list items in the dead spaces in my schedule earlier in the day, particularly when I have my peak energy.

 

My goal in the next few weeks and months is to see my sleep debt (hopefully) stay lower, and see how my energy and productivity and efficiency increase.  In addition, I hope to see my mood in interacting with my friends and family improving.  Sleep is the wonder drug. It is free, but often overlooked.  I hope to really harness its power in the coming weeks and months in my quest to be a better steward for my time and energy each and every day.

What My Perfect Day Would Look Like

It is nice to dream about what a perfect day would look like.  I think it personally helps me to strive to improve things I can in my life, to get closer and closer to that perfect day.  Sure, perfections is not entirely possible, as there are things in life we have to do that we would rather not – chores, necessary mundane tasks, etc.  It is important to accept the imperfections in life.  But I think it is nice to have a picture in my mind what my perfect day would look like.  If you haven’t tried this experiment before, I would recommend it, as it may be eye opening to you.  You may see things you are doing that do NOT fit into that perfect day.  Maybe it is time to do less of those things, or stop them altogether. Instead, it would be better to start focusing time and energy on things you love and things you want to be doing more of.  And on days off e.g. the weekend, it may direct you to do the activities and passions that light you up, instead of squandering your free time on things that may not energize and refresh you.

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A perfect day would certainly include ample quality time with my loves.

At any rate, here is how my perfect day would go:

Wake up when I felt like it.

No alarms. No need to get up at a set time.  I could set my own schedule each and every day, as desired.  Or have no schedule if desired. I am more productive in the mornings so I would likely have a lot of activities planned each morning. So I wouldn’t necessarily sleep in.  But it would be nice to have the freedom and option to do so!

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Exercise in the morning.

I prefer exercising in the morning when my mind and body are fresh.  This is different for different people, but that seems to agree with me better.  With the way my schedule is now, that isn’t really possible during the work week, as I start my workday early in the morning.  It would be nice, though, to have the liberty of exercising when I would prefer.

Time for reading, journaling, and meditation.

I would love to have more time to read and learn, journal, and meditate.  I feel these revive me, and I learn a lot by doing these activities. In addition, it helps offload my mind and the stressors I may be carrying.  I do not have the luxury of doing these activities as much as I would like.  Having more free time each day to do this I think would really boost my mental health and productivity.

Time and energy to spend with my family.

Sometimes I am very drained after a tough day at work.  I regretfully sometimes approach my evenings with my family with fatigue and not much “left in the tank” to give to those I love.  It would be nice to keep some of my energy reserves intact to nurture the relationships with my loved ones.

Time in the evening to decompress and reflect on my day.

My days are busy and jampacked.  Sometimes I regretfully go through the actions, going from one task to the next – wake up, get ready, work, get dinner ready, pickup the kids, get the kids and myself ready for bed, conk out.  I don’t always make the time to decompress and rewire myself.  And I wish I also spent more time reflecting on the day and how it went. What did I really like?  What did I hate?  What will I try to repeat again in the future?  What will I try to avoid?  I think that could be accomplished via self reflection,  journaling, or talking through my day with my husband.  But often times, I don’t make this daily reflection a priority.

Getting to bed on time after a relaxing bedtime routine, and getting enough sleep.

I strive right now to get 6.5 hours of sleep at least per night.  Sometimes I reach that, sometimes I regretfully do not.  Should I be getting more? Probably.  But it is hard to squeeze in all of the things I want to do.  In a perfect day, however, it would be great to get 7-8 hours of sleep.  And prior to sleep, to have a relaxing, calming bedtime routine each night, instead of forcing myself to close my eyes, and being anxious about getting enough sleep for the next day.

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Photo by Daria Shevtsova on Pexels.com

Final Thoughts on the Elusive but Laudable “Perfect Day”

I realize it isn’t possible to always have life go as planned. But having this ideal day in mind has helped me prioritize things I want to do, and like to do.  And I have tried to cut down on things that do not serve me, such as too much social media scrolling (still guilty of this, though, more often than I would like), TV or video watching, or checking email (a time suck oftentimes).  I have tried to set a list of priorities each day, and do the ones that I feel are most important, including spending time with my family and those I love, reading and writing, exercise, and trying to get enough self care and sleep.  Other things are nice and fun to do, but I think if I hit those priorities at least to a small degree each day,  I feel like I have accomplished a lot.  My life may not be perfect, but it is a work in progress and I have the power to change it.  Each day is refreshingly its own entity, and each morning gives me the opportunity to start over with a blank slate.  As I take my life one day at a time, I hope to get closer and closer to a life and routine that will make me a happier, more productive version of me.

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Always striving and scheming to rearrange my life, to create more quality time with this smiling face.

Finders Keepers, Losers…Sweepers?

My daughter was chanting this the other day, but making a funny word substitution…”Finders Keepers, Losers Sweepers.”  I tried to correct her word substitution, but she insisted her way of saying this was correct.  This amused me, of course. But it also got me thinking…  What if she was on to something?  Finders do keep what they have. But losers may gain something as well.

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This little gal is enjoying some sugar on a summer day. It is truly enjoyable to time out of my busy life to revel in rest and rejuvenation with my children.

When you lose, you give something up.  This may be a victory, or a possession.  However, perhaps my daughter’s inadvertent statement opens up a possible role of a loss.  When you are a loser, you “sweep away” whatever it was that you lost.  This can be a good thing, or a bad thing.  Often, though, letting go of things in the long run can be good.

In our overcrowded, overstimulated, overfilled lives, I think we may need to learn to take a step back more often.  Our digital lifestyles are connecting us to each other and to information more than I ever imagined growing up. But, this may be at a cost to our sanity and mental health.  Indeed, many folks take digital detox breaks to reconnect with the simpler world.

As a telemedicine physician, I am connected to technology during my workday, and I love it.  I enjoy connecting with patients around the country via this cool, new medium.  It is different, and a challenge.  But once the day is done, sometimes I hop onto my home laptop, or home smartphone, or home tablet.  And sometimes after doing so, I feel more fried, not rejuvenated.  I think my body and mind, with their fatigue symptoms, are trying to tell me something.  Too much of a good thing is no longer good.

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Take time to stop and smell the roses…and ride a pony, too, if one happens to cross your path.

As my daughter phrased it, “Finder’s Keepers, Losers Sweepers”… perhaps we should let go of our technology and busy lives and sweep away the clutter and noise.  That way, we can reconnect with ourselves, our families, our thoughts and feelings, and live a hopefully more peaceful existence.    Instead of weeping and mourning a loss, perhaps we can see the loss as a gain.  Gaining of freedom, gaining of time.  That opening in our lives can allow something else in.  For me, less is truly more, and gives me more time to recharge.  I think I’ll take my daughter’s advice more here in the future, and see losing and letting go as a way to clean and “sweep away” what I really don’t need.

photograph of person sweeping the floor
Photo by Riya Kumari on Pexels.com

Relearning the Time-Honored Skill of Saying “NO!”

Having 2 young kids, I am well familiar with the fact that toddlers assert their independence with the powerful word, “NO!” at around 2-3 years of age.   As an adult, though, I wonder why this skill has faded in myself.  I have found it hard to say “No” when I don’t want to do something.  I often find myself saying yes to things that do not bring me satisfaction or joy.  It may be out of a sense of obligation, or guilt, or a desire not to hurt others feelings, or a desire to show I am able to take on more and be responsible and “do it all.”  But maybe I should learn from my young ones and use this powerful word, “No!” more frequently and more freely, to reclaim my time and sanity.

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Learn to say “no” to feel free (and bonus points if you dance to celebrate it)!

Our lives are busy and hectic.  We have plenty of expectations – at work, at home, and with our activities and communities.  I’ve found one thing that helps calm my mind and put things in better perspective is to list my values and priorities each week, each month, and each year.  I know then where I want to go, and what kind of life I want.  It is a hard practice, but if I am faced with an email asking me to do something, I have started to ask myself, “Is this in line with my values?”  “Will this bring me closer to the goals and life and future I want?”  If the answer is “Meh” or, “Well, not really,”  I pause and really try to stop myself from an automatic reply of “Sure, I’ll do it.”  (This is, of course, a work in progress, and I still have times where I reflexively say “Yes, sure I’ll do it” and shortly thereafter, regret it.)

Throughout college and medical training, I felt a drive to say yes to pretty much everything I could.  You don’t want to close any doors to opportunities in the future when you are early on in your training or career.  However, I am now more settled into my career and busy life, and have more life experience, and can see what kind of “me” I truly want to be.   And with that life wisdom, I can see that the mentality of always saying “Yes!” can be harmful, and inadvertently detract or prevent me from me  reaching my goals.  It is not possible to do it all.  (I’m sure we all wish this was possible, but it really isn’t.)  There are only 24 hours in a day.  Life is about choices, and to do life right, sometimes you must sacrifice some things to concentrate and nurture the things you want.  And to get where you want to go, sometimes you must let go of things don’t want or absolutely need.  In short, as my children would unwaveringly and succinctly put it, “No!”  This is a tough skill, and one I hope to continue to get better at.

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These confident little ones never hesitate to tell me what they want, or what they don’t want!

But maybe I should acknowledge that my children are perhaps wiser than me in this respect, and I should take from their example.  I will continue to work on this, as I seem to have forgotten the fine art of saying “no.”  If I don’t want something, I should proudly declare “No!” with confidence!  (It may help to visualize my little one saying it, and copy his or her unwavering style.)   I’ll keep practicing.  My kids will unquestionably demonstrate this skill of saying “No!” on a daily basis in the future, an unfailing reminder to me how I can live a better life.  It helps to have reminders like this, and it helps when these reminders are cute to boot.

Automate to Liberate Your Brain

I have started to automate things in my life in the last few years.  Why automate?  I have found ways to automate my actions to free up more brain power.  Why should I waste mental (or physical) energy on things I must do all the time, like buy toilet paper or buy toothpaste?  I have automated my bill payments.  (It really stinks to have a late payment and pay a fee, so why hazard this?) By automating my bills, I feel at ease that my bills will be paid on time even if life gets hectic and busy, and I won’t need to do mental gymnastics to remember to pay things before they are due.

white laptop computer on white desk
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

I have also automated several of my purchases.  Shopping can be fun, but it also can be draining.  All of those decisions and steps to take can wear on your mental stamina, even if it is something you do every month or every week.  But I have found automating my shopping has really helped free up mental bandwidth.  I use Amazon Subscribe and Save and Target Subscriptions to automate things my household needs all the time – paper products, cleaning products, kid stuff that we need (e.g. pull ups), laundry supplies, etc.  As something comes up on my shopping list that we need periodically, I start scouring Amazon or Target for options for subscription.  Plus, subscribing has saved me money.

As technology has advanced,  I have also found ways to automate my reminders on my “To Do” list and on my calendar.  And I have discovered I can schedule emails to be sent in the future in Gmail.  A huge savings, as I would sometimes wait, send myself a reminder to write an email, and write it then and there.  Now, when a need or thought enters my mind that I need to email to someone else, I can draft it then and there and then schedule it in the future if needed.

pen calendar to do checklist
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I found that the methods in “Getting Things Done” has also helped unload my brain, and keep things fresh and open.  In “Getting Things Done”, the author proposes setting up automatic ways to remind yourself of things, keep track of goals, and to break down those goals into smaller, more doable steps.  By putting everything down in various To Do lists, I have freed my brain up.  Instead of trying to hang on to dozens of different things I must do this day, this week, or this month, my brain feels at ease as I have everything in a logical place, waiting for a time/place to do them.

Something I hope to get better at in the future is using Evernote.  There are a lot of ways to use this free online note keeper to track notes, emails, websites all in one place.  I have tried categorizing and tagging things as well, so I can search for the tags that match up to the notes I want.  I also hope to get better at using Alexa and Siri to use my voice to bring up apps or notes I need.  I am using this here or there, but I am sure there are more ways I can use this to save me the time and aggravation of typing in what I want.

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Life is cluttered, hectic, and busy, like a waffle block house that is overly accessorized. Be like my cat, find a zen like moment, and try to think of ways to simplify, using technology and systems to your advantage.

My brain definitely thanks me when it is free from clutter.  I find I am able to think better and faster at work, am able to write clearer and more concisely, and overall feel more at peace.  If I am starting to feel more stress or angst, I try to take a step back to see if I am doing my best to automate things.  Technology is great.  I admit I need to learn to use it more and have it complement my life to make my life easier.  I am always eager to learn new hacks and ways to make life easier, and I will surely share any other tips and tricks I may find in the future. If you also know of any ideas, I’d love to hear them!

Getting What you Want in Life: My Own Take on Time, Energy, and Money and How They Fit Together

I think of life as having some set resources (Time, Energy, Money), and with these resources, you can get products that you want (Stuff, Experiences/Memories, Emotions).

Perhaps mathematically, it could be proposed it is an equation of sorts (the exact steps in this equation, though are of course are too complicated and are beyond my grasp to eloquently express at the moment):

(Time, Energy, Money) —————————->    (Stuff, Experiences/Memories, Emotions)

I wish I had an unlimited supply of the things on the left (Time, Energy, Money), but I realize they are finite.  And I think we are often trading our time and/or energy to get money.  (Again the equation is a lot more complicated than what I am crudely trying to show here.)  But, a combination or some or all of these resources (that is, time, energy, and money) can give us the products on the right.  What is it that you want to get with your time, energy, or money?  Sometimes, it is complicated, and it is a unique combination of things. Sometimes it is stuff. Sometimes it is an experience e.g. a honeymoon or a once-in-a-lifetime trip in Europe.  Sometimes it is to gain positive emotions, e.g. contentment, tranquility, pride, joy, self-satisfaction.

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Hop aboard the “Fun Bus” of life! Full of bumps and stops, but if you use your resources (Time, Energy, Money) wisely, I think you will enjoy the ride!

I think that the journey to learning what you truly want in life is easier once you know your values.  This is not an easy thing to boil down in one sitting, and it is highly individual.  But, I think this exercise of learning what you truly value is immensely important. And once you know what you truly value, you can then budget out your finite resources of Time, Energy, and Money to then lining up your actions in life to be in tune with your values.

Personally, I value the following:

  1. Family
  2. Health
  3. Creativity
  4. Freedom
  5. Fun

These are broad categories, but I truly hope to budget my Time, Energy, and Money toward nurturing these 5 things in my life going forward.

For Family, I hope to nurture my relationships with my husband and 2 kids, and also my extended family.  For Health, I hope to continue to use my time and energy to developing my running hobby, and taking care of myself with nutrition and rest each day and week to keep my body running healthily and for (hopefully) a long time.  For creativity, I hope to nurture things such as running, reading, music, and other outlets that allow me to make something that reflects my thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and in the process, that may inspire others. For freedom, I hope to have more control over my day to day schedule.  At this point, I do not have this 100%, but I hope to in the years to come. To achieve this, I must be very diligent with my savings goals, to hopefully in time have enough to support my needs and wants in life so work can someday be optional.  And for fun, I hope to never take life too seriously.  I hope my kids, husband, extended family and friends continue to inspire me to play.  In this category, I consider experiences such as travel a prime way I hope to have fun with those I love.  Again, to achieve this, I plan to be conscientious with my savings goals (once my debt is paid off) to have funds saved to take trips with those I love, to create the memories and experiences of a lifetime.

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Drive (or in this case, drive-fly) your way through life with a roadmap in mind. Use your resources wisely on this drive to get what you truly want out of life.

As you can see, these things are all interconnected, but I think my equation helps to summarize things and put things in perspective:

(Time, Energy, Money) ——–Life Values-———>    (Stuff, Experiences/Memories, Emotions)

On the arrow above, I have added the thought that your own unique “Life Values” play a key part in determining your pathway, and they greatly influence the choices you make to getting the products you want in life.  It is crucial also to revisit these values in your life, and see if your actions in life are truly lining up with what you want.  Are you using your time wisely, focusing on the things you want to achieve?  Or are you wasting it to a degree, on things that don’t matter?  How about your energy?  Are you investing waking hours and physical and mental energy into endeavors that bring you joy and fulfillment?  And how about your money? Is it being invested, saved, and spent in a way that is in line with what you truly value?  This is not an easy exercise, and something that I think we all struggle with as we go through life.  But I think this is a good thing to revisit regularly, e.g. every month, to ensure you are truly getting what you want in life.

 

The Gift of Independence

Happy 4th of July to you all!

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I think Independence Day naturally makes me think of the gifts I have. Sometimes, we can take the gift of independence and freedom for granted.  But when this is threatened -e .g. our time or our resources or our health are taken from us, we start to realize the blessings we truly have.

Something I’ve strived for more and more is protecting my gift of time.  When I have control and autonomy over my schedule, I feel so much more free.  Of course, you cannot control everything in life.  There are things I wish I had more control over, always.  But at least having some semblance of control of more of my day brings me more joy and happiness.  One way I have done that in the last year is changing jobs.

I am truly grateful for my new opportunity to practice telemedicine.  This gives me an interesting new way to develop care to patients.  And as an incredible bonus, I am able to work from home.  This has freed up a bunch of my energy and time, and mental bandwidth, as it has eliminated a need for a commute.

My new job has also given me more autonomy in setting my schedule so I can juggle my other responsibilities as wife and mom, and so I can take care of me via my hobbies and self care.  In turn, I think this has given me a greater sense of that elusive concept pf “Work Life Balance.”  I think it is impossible to do multiple things all perfectly, but I think you learn to maximize as much as you can, to get all of your buckets “good enough” so you are happy and functioning.

As I reflect on Independence Day this weekend, I will work on keeping gratitude at the top of my mind.  There are so many things we have to be thankful for in the United States.  Sure, there are things that could be better – life is never perfect.  But I feel we have come very far in the last couple of decades.  And in the last 30-40 years, technology has brought many gifts to our society and to our nation.  Would you have believed many of us would be carrying a smart phone around, with the power not only to call each other, but also to check the Internet, which contains such a huge wealth of knowledge it is difficult to fathom?

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So much to be grateful for this year, including freedom to spend more time with these two cuties.

Again, Happy 4th of July and happy Independence weekend.  I hope you too can find things to be grateful for.  As the next few days go by, I would hope you find some time to reflect on our country’s gift of independence, and the great things our nation has to offer.

Setting Priorities

“I like playing.  I like chores more.  And I love my family the best.”  Wow – the wisdom in those words really resounded within me.  

At bedtime a few weeks ago, my daughter told me something very insightful.  I forget how we got on the topic, but she explained to me, so succinctly but so beautifully: “I like playing.  I like chores more.  And I love my family the best.”  Wow – the wisdom in those words really resounded within me.

Luca and magnet blocks
Sometimes life can seem as helter skelter as a toddler with blocks strewn across the living room floor. Snapping the pieces together into some sort of structure can be hard. But by setting priorities, I think that sometimes disorder can be turned into something pleasing and structured.

My daughter’s life priorities: 3) Play.  Indeed, play IS important. It is how kids learn about their world and their own abilities.  It is often how I rest, rejuvenate, and get inspiration.   2)  Work.  She is still stepping into some roles around the house of chores. She is very eager to help and celebrate the fruits of her labor.  And I see how proud she is also of the work she does each day during her school day.  1) Family and relationships.  Without these connections and the people in our lives, I too would find life a bit less meaningful.  Having the relationships I have with my husband, kids, and extended family adds richness and happiness to my life.  There are of course times when those people I love drive me a little crazy.  Is there really always a need for my two children to take out every single toy and then play with just one as the mess/clutter/post-tornado look surrounds my children?  But I think my daughter has learned at a young age to see priorities.

Ranking things in life and recognizing their importance is crucial.  It allows me personally to take a step back and see what I truly value.  Like my daughter, I agree with the ranking she set forth: Relationships and Family, Work, and Play.  As my life evolves, and as I and my family age, these rankings may change.  But I think by taking a “big picture” view of life helps me attack each moment and each day with more vigor and meaning.  How easy it is to get fixated on the mundane of life.  The “to do” list checkboxes that feel good to cross off the list, but really, does it add to the things I value? Is it really that important to get my email box to zero each day?  Or is it a little more important to spend 20 minutes with my daughter one on one, playing a board game, or playing outside and enjoying the sunshine together.

I think one thing that is hard but very insightful is to think how you want to be remembered in life.  I believe I gained this idea after listening to Chip Gaines’ audiobook, Capital Gaines.  He posed the idea of writing your own epithet or message on your tombstone.  I think this really helped me to see my actions and how they could be viewed in the long term view of my life, as viewed through the eyes of my family and those around me.  It is a helpful and eye opening exercise, one that I find difficult but insightful.

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Enjoy the good things in life. Work hard but find time to play. And drink something yummy.

I want to be remembered as a caring mother and wife, a caring and competent clinician, and someone who knows how to enjoy life.  I am still trying to figure out how to balance it all.  Life is always so full of challenges and can get sometimes insanely busy.  And I am still trying to figure out the right ratios of all of these things in my life to keep it balanced.  But I am really impressed that my daughter, too, has a basic idea of what she values, and that her priorities mirror my own.  I hope to keep my daughter’s example in mind as I live each day to its fullest.  I also hope that I am able to keep this insightful perspective on what truly matters in life, and that my actions and choices each day reflect what I truly value.

Goals: Breaking Them Down and Taking Some Names

Over the last year or two, I have begun breaking down my long term goals into more doable chunks and shorter term goals.  This has really helped me overcome a tendency to build mountains out of mole hills and procrastinate.  Instead of staying vague, I have forced myself to take my goal and really break it down into doable, shorter term steps.

A useful book that I recommend that describes this idea is  Stick with It: The Science of Lasting Changes, by Sean Young.  I like how this book logically breaks goal setting down into 3 levels: Steps (small tasks, taking 2 days or less to complete); Goals (short term goals, which take about a week to complete; and long term goals, which are comprised of the short term goals, and take up to about a month to complete); and Dreams (goals that take 3 months+ to complete).

Maddie and her champion doll
Maddie’s alter ego exhibiting her power pose – Set goals, perform, and win!

One example is my current financial goal to payoff my student loans.  This has seemed like a very challenging and sometimes insurmountable dream for the last 4+ years.  One helpful tactic for me has been to break down this vague and huge goal (“I want to payoff my student loans as soon as possible”) into something more concrete and specific.  For example, I set goals to reach certain number milestones each month, each 6 month period, and each 12 month period.  I focus on the present (e.g. the present week or present month), estimating my budget of spending and income, and then calculate the extra money I can send toward my student loan.  And then, I analyze my progress at the end of each month and the end of each year.

Another example is setting my goal to run a marathon.  Rather than getting too overwhelmed and giving up due to inexperience, I read several blogs and books to help me.  I chose a marathon training plan, and wrote down the workouts each week on my calendar (doing this really helps me – I hate to leave something on my calendar undone).  And then, rather than continuously seeing the 26.2 miles and getting too overwhelmed, I tried to focus my attention on what was before me: each month, each week, each day, each workout, and each step/stride.

By breaking down a huge 26.2 mile distance into doable chunks (e.g. each workout with a set distance and time goal), I was able to minimize the overwhelm, and instead slowly chip away at my goal.  I was most importantly able to feel a sense of accomplishment with each of my small goals – that is, completing each of my daily workouts.  Then, on my race day, I was able to smoothly and confidently meet my long term goal of finishing the long race.  I had plenty of practice in hitting my daily and weekly goals, and thus, race day, though challenging, did not seem so foreign and daunting.  In other words, I felt read and prepared.

Sliding Through Life
Take Luca’s example – slide through life smoothly, with small, doable goals in mind.

Even in planning out my week each week, I attempt to set 2-3 big overarching goals, both in my work/career and in my personal life. Then, I strategize how to really, concretely, make this happen, e.g. carving out 30 minutes of time on Monday for my goal of reading, or setting aside 20 minutes of time on Friday to exercise.  Instead of rolling through life, letting my life’s responsibilities control me, I feel a sense of focus, having been able to set small doable goals for the week, day by day.  There are 168 hours in each week, 24 hours in each day.  And unfortunately, time is a precious finite resource.  It cannot be brought back once it is gone.  I think goal setting in this logical, step-wise way, i.e. breaking big things down into smaller doable goals, has helped me better manage my time and actually finish more of the tasks I set out to do.