At bedtime a few weeks ago, my daughter told me something very insightful. I forget how we got on the topic, but she explained to me, so succinctly but so beautifully: “I like playing. I like chores more. And I love my family the best.” Wow – the wisdom in those words really resounded within me.
My daughter’s life priorities: 3) Play. Indeed, play IS important. It is how kids learn about their world and their own abilities. It is often how I rest, rejuvenate, and get inspiration. 2) Work. She is still stepping into some roles around the house of chores. She is very eager to help and celebrate the fruits of her labor. And I see how proud she is also of the work she does each day during her school day. 1) Family and relationships. Without these connections and the people in our lives, I too would find life a bit less meaningful. Having the relationships I have with my husband, kids, and extended family adds richness and happiness to my life. There are of course times when those people I love drive me a little crazy. Is there really always a need for my two children to take out every single toy and then play with just one as the mess/clutter/post-tornado look surrounds my children? But I think my daughter has learned at a young age to see priorities.
Ranking things in life and recognizing their importance is crucial. It allows me personally to take a step back and see what I truly value. Like my daughter, I agree with the ranking she set forth: Relationships and Family, Work, and Play. As my life evolves, and as I and my family age, these rankings may change. But I think by taking a “big picture” view of life helps me attack each moment and each day with more vigor and meaning. How easy it is to get fixated on the mundane of life. The “to do” list checkboxes that feel good to cross off the list, but really, does it add to the things I value? Is it really that important to get my email box to zero each day? Or is it a little more important to spend 20 minutes with my daughter one on one, playing a board game, or playing outside and enjoying the sunshine together.
I think one thing that is hard but very insightful is to think how you want to be remembered in life. I believe I gained this idea after listening to Chip Gaines’ audiobook, Capital Gaines. He posed the idea of writing your own epithet or message on your tombstone. I think this really helped me to see my actions and how they could be viewed in the long term view of my life, as viewed through the eyes of my family and those around me. It is a helpful and eye opening exercise, one that I find difficult but insightful.
I want to be remembered as a caring mother and wife, a caring and competent clinician, and someone who knows how to enjoy life. I am still trying to figure out how to balance it all. Life is always so full of challenges and can get sometimes insanely busy. And I am still trying to figure out the right ratios of all of these things in my life to keep it balanced. But I am really impressed that my daughter, too, has a basic idea of what she values, and that her priorities mirror my own. I hope to keep my daughter’s example in mind as I live each day to its fullest. I also hope that I am able to keep this insightful perspective on what truly matters in life, and that my actions and choices each day reflect what I truly value.