Tag: Priorities

Where Did the Time Go? My Daughter is Starting 1st Grade Soon!

It seems like a short time ago I was pregnant with my daughter during my medical residency.  (In reality, though, that was 7 years ago.  Where did those years go?) . I can still recall…

It seems like a short time ago I was pregnant with my daughter during my medical residency.  (In reality, though, that was 7 years ago.  Where did those years go?) . I can still recall wearing maternity clothes and compression stockings during my pregnancy, dealing with being on my feet while carrying her and being a resident.  I can remember the fatigue as I was working and as she was developing within me during my pregnancy. Coupling all of the pregnancy demands with my medical residency expectations, I am not sure now how I managed it all. This was of course an early example of my busy doctor mom life in the making.

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My daughter will be swinging into 1st grade soon!

I remember being in the hospital for her delivery, and the newness and fear and  associated with being a brand new parent.  (They are giving us this small being, and we get to take them home with us?  But…what do we do now?)  I also remember taking her to the doctor for her newborn checkup a couple of days after going home from the hospital.  A wee little thing at that point, she was 5 lbs, 4 oz at that visit.  I remember a fellow parent in the waiting room commented on how tiny she looked.

Now, this little girl is 6 years old. She is about to enter 1st grade later this month!  I can hardly believe this, as time seems to be marching on without me realizing it.  The advice by fellow parents is right – time really does fly by, sometimes going too fast.

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Photo by samer daboul on Pexels.com

I value my time with my kids now when they are little.  But it can be trying and exhausting, and sometimes I find myself wishing they were both a bit older.  That would give me a break from all of the hands on care that toddlers and young children require.  But other times, I realize this time is fleeting.  And raising older kids will introduce a whole host of new challenges – school activities and after school activities, navigating the social scene, etc.  There will be a time my kids do not want me to hold them (and I won’t be able to carry them as they will be too heavy/too big!).  They won’t want to hold my hand, being too cool/too old for it.  They won’t want me to cuddle with them at the end of the day.  It will tug at my heart for sure when that day comes.  But I am trying to imprint on my memory now the times I have with them when they are little.

This time with my children is a gift.  We get 18 years to raise them, and guide them on this path of life.  I hope to raise 2 strong, hard working people.  We still have quite a ways to go.  But looking at my calendar and seeing “Maddie’s first day of 1st grade” is around the bend, I realize that this 18 years is going by faster than it seems.  I think looking forward is good, to plan, and to arrange a life you want.  But it is also vital to look back and see how far we’ve come, and to really take time to enjoy the present moment.

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Feeling blessed and fortunate to have these two little ones in my life.

Time is precious, and unfortunately, it is not renewable.  You can’t get time back.  (But wouldn’t time travel be amazing?)  I hope I am spending my time wisely, particularly as I am spending it with my husband and children.  I am so grateful for my family and this time I have with them.  Looking back on past memories (good and bad helps solidify this gratitude within me, and makes me proud of how far we’ve come.  On hard days, especially, it is easy for me to overlook this gift of time.  But I try to remind myself of the positive, and how beautiful and powerful being a parent truly is.  I hope to never forget how valuable this time is with my family, and how blessed I am to travel on this life journey with my husband and children.

Setting Priorities

“I like playing.  I like chores more.  And I love my family the best.”  Wow – the wisdom in those words really resounded within me.  

At bedtime a few weeks ago, my daughter told me something very insightful.  I forget how we got on the topic, but she explained to me, so succinctly but so beautifully: “I like playing.  I like chores more.  And I love my family the best.”  Wow – the wisdom in those words really resounded within me.

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Sometimes life can seem as helter skelter as a toddler with blocks strewn across the living room floor. Snapping the pieces together into some sort of structure can be hard. But by setting priorities, I think that sometimes disorder can be turned into something pleasing and structured.

My daughter’s life priorities: 3) Play.  Indeed, play IS important. It is how kids learn about their world and their own abilities.  It is often how I rest, rejuvenate, and get inspiration.   2)  Work.  She is still stepping into some roles around the house of chores. She is very eager to help and celebrate the fruits of her labor.  And I see how proud she is also of the work she does each day during her school day.  1) Family and relationships.  Without these connections and the people in our lives, I too would find life a bit less meaningful.  Having the relationships I have with my husband, kids, and extended family adds richness and happiness to my life.  There are of course times when those people I love drive me a little crazy.  Is there really always a need for my two children to take out every single toy and then play with just one as the mess/clutter/post-tornado look surrounds my children?  But I think my daughter has learned at a young age to see priorities.

Ranking things in life and recognizing their importance is crucial.  It allows me personally to take a step back and see what I truly value.  Like my daughter, I agree with the ranking she set forth: Relationships and Family, Work, and Play.  As my life evolves, and as I and my family age, these rankings may change.  But I think by taking a “big picture” view of life helps me attack each moment and each day with more vigor and meaning.  How easy it is to get fixated on the mundane of life.  The “to do” list checkboxes that feel good to cross off the list, but really, does it add to the things I value? Is it really that important to get my email box to zero each day?  Or is it a little more important to spend 20 minutes with my daughter one on one, playing a board game, or playing outside and enjoying the sunshine together.

I think one thing that is hard but very insightful is to think how you want to be remembered in life.  I believe I gained this idea after listening to Chip Gaines’ audiobook, Capital Gaines.  He posed the idea of writing your own epithet or message on your tombstone.  I think this really helped me to see my actions and how they could be viewed in the long term view of my life, as viewed through the eyes of my family and those around me.  It is a helpful and eye opening exercise, one that I find difficult but insightful.

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Enjoy the good things in life. Work hard but find time to play. And drink something yummy.

I want to be remembered as a caring mother and wife, a caring and competent clinician, and someone who knows how to enjoy life.  I am still trying to figure out how to balance it all.  Life is always so full of challenges and can get sometimes insanely busy.  And I am still trying to figure out the right ratios of all of these things in my life to keep it balanced.  But I am really impressed that my daughter, too, has a basic idea of what she values, and that her priorities mirror my own.  I hope to keep my daughter’s example in mind as I live each day to its fullest.  I also hope that I am able to keep this insightful perspective on what truly matters in life, and that my actions and choices each day reflect what I truly value.