Tag: gratitude

In It For The Long Run…Sticking With It Even When You Want to Bail

I completed my first 20 mile long run for this training cycle (yes, 20 whole miles…gulp!).  It was a steady buildup to this distance in my training cycle, so I have been slowly adding a couple miles to my weekly long run over the last few months.  Therefore, I knew mentally and physically I was ready for this.  However, there were several times in the run where I felt like quitting.  Some examples of what runs through my head sometimes: Hmmm…maybe 6 miles would be good enough.  My legs feel tired. It would be nice to walk. Or maybe walk home and take the day off.  Wow, that person is sitting on that swing. That looks so comfortable. Maybe I could take a quick break and enjoy the view, too.  11.5 miles sounds pretty good, I made it this far, that is a pretty good day.   (Yes, I am a running nerd and track my miles by the half mile. have alerts on my phone for every half mile I run.   I love to geek out on all the data!)

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When these thoughts of bailing out would crop to the surface though, I would argue back in my mind why it would be even better to stick it out. I envision how good it would feel to see the mileage posted on my completed run. Being able to check off my workout on my workout calendar. Personal satisfaction at a job completed as planned.

As long there isn’t anything truly unsafe keeping me from running, I will try to keep going. (Sometimes the weather is a factor. Or a worsening injury is brewing and running is hurting. Then, it is time to stop. Discomfort and fatigue from gaining stamina, athletic ability, and strength are good things. On the other hand, outright pain from a injury is bad. Sometimes it is hard to admit the difference. But in my heart, I can tell the difference as the run progresses. It is better to stop, cut the run short, and live to run another day.

Here are some mental tips I use to keep going on runs I should keep going on (I.e. as long as there is not a sidelining injury in the works, or as long as I won’t be swept away by hurtling winds and bad hail).

–Take it 1 mile at a time.  I described in a past post the power of taking each mile as it comes, and focusing on the present. Indeed, this is a good reminder in life also that it is important to take time to be in the moment and not so future (or past) oriented.

–Think about the end goal.  I try to visualize myself in my race.  What it will feel like to be trekking along on the course. All the fans.  All the noises.  The fun of the competition.  I remind myself that this training run is practice, and this practice will get me to that finish line.

–Think about something I am thankful for.  Not everything in life goes well.  But there is a ton to be thankful for and not take for granted. I often think to my husband and kids.  I think how fortunate I have to be a part of their lives.  I try to think of something funny or silly from the day before, an “inside joke” if you will in our own small tight-knit family.  I remind myself that this discomfort is temporary.  And my runs also give me mental clarity and peace to tackle to stresses of my everyday life.

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These two smiling faces often come to mind and rescue me when I need mental distraction from the tedium of a long run.

–Revel in my abilities.  Our human bodies are amazing machines. It is hard sometimes to fathom all that goes on inside of us, to keep us going.  Particularly amazing, in fact, is how I am able to keep on running.  And sometimes running crazy distances, like my recent 20 miler, or 26.2 miles.   The mind and body are capable of tremendous and sometimes mind-boggling things.  As I am running along and get tired or tempted to quit, I remind myself how amazing it is my legs are moving, or my arms or pumping, or my heart and lungs are moving the blood within me, propelling me cardiovascular wise on my run.

–Think about fun things coming up on the day to come or week to come.  Pure distraction is a good technique as well.  I sometimes use the repetitive motion of my running as a way to zone out and start thinking about things on my to do list. I strategize how I will fit things in to my afternoon or the work week ahead.

–Listen to some good music, audiobooks, or podcasts.  Again, distraction works wonders.  I try to have a good playlist on my phone available to turn to if I need some motivating beats.  And I also have several podcasts downloaded if I prefer to learn something on my runs.    If I am into an audiobook, I will have that downloaded to my phone too, and have that as an option to keep my mind occupied.

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As I have progressed and developed as a runner, I have learned the ability to persevere and continue on my quest each run, particularly when approaching a race.  I think one last thing that helps me get through a tough run is learning to accept things when they are good enough.  I think this is also good training for life – the stamina and grit I gain by sticking it out in a run translates nicely to mental fortitude in real life.  And sometimes, a “good enough” day in running or in my work day is just fine.  A tough long day ahead of me?  I can do it.  Heck, I’ve run 20 miles recently (and 26.2 miles before)…if I can do that, I can do anything.  I will just take it one minute and one hour at a time.

Not all runs will go perfectly.  I may need to bail out if my body can’t handle it, for example, if an injury is forming.  But I try to also accept the fact that not everything goes perfectly, and sometimes a run does not feel so great, and that’s okay.  There are good days and there are bad days.  The bad days, though, make the good days shine in comparison.  And the best thing after a run (good or bad) is that feeling of accomplishment!   That is probably what keeps me going, and keeps me coming back for more.

Where Did the Time Go? My Daughter is Starting 1st Grade Soon!

It seems like a short time ago I was pregnant with my daughter during my medical residency.  (In reality, though, that was 7 years ago.  Where did those years go?) . I can still recall…

It seems like a short time ago I was pregnant with my daughter during my medical residency.  (In reality, though, that was 7 years ago.  Where did those years go?) . I can still recall wearing maternity clothes and compression stockings during my pregnancy, dealing with being on my feet while carrying her and being a resident.  I can remember the fatigue as I was working and as she was developing within me during my pregnancy. Coupling all of the pregnancy demands with my medical residency expectations, I am not sure now how I managed it all. This was of course an early example of my busy doctor mom life in the making.

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My daughter will be swinging into 1st grade soon!

I remember being in the hospital for her delivery, and the newness and fear and  associated with being a brand new parent.  (They are giving us this small being, and we get to take them home with us?  But…what do we do now?)  I also remember taking her to the doctor for her newborn checkup a couple of days after going home from the hospital.  A wee little thing at that point, she was 5 lbs, 4 oz at that visit.  I remember a fellow parent in the waiting room commented on how tiny she looked.

Now, this little girl is 6 years old. She is about to enter 1st grade later this month!  I can hardly believe this, as time seems to be marching on without me realizing it.  The advice by fellow parents is right – time really does fly by, sometimes going too fast.

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I value my time with my kids now when they are little.  But it can be trying and exhausting, and sometimes I find myself wishing they were both a bit older.  That would give me a break from all of the hands on care that toddlers and young children require.  But other times, I realize this time is fleeting.  And raising older kids will introduce a whole host of new challenges – school activities and after school activities, navigating the social scene, etc.  There will be a time my kids do not want me to hold them (and I won’t be able to carry them as they will be too heavy/too big!).  They won’t want to hold my hand, being too cool/too old for it.  They won’t want me to cuddle with them at the end of the day.  It will tug at my heart for sure when that day comes.  But I am trying to imprint on my memory now the times I have with them when they are little.

This time with my children is a gift.  We get 18 years to raise them, and guide them on this path of life.  I hope to raise 2 strong, hard working people.  We still have quite a ways to go.  But looking at my calendar and seeing “Maddie’s first day of 1st grade” is around the bend, I realize that this 18 years is going by faster than it seems.  I think looking forward is good, to plan, and to arrange a life you want.  But it is also vital to look back and see how far we’ve come, and to really take time to enjoy the present moment.

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Feeling blessed and fortunate to have these two little ones in my life.

Time is precious, and unfortunately, it is not renewable.  You can’t get time back.  (But wouldn’t time travel be amazing?)  I hope I am spending my time wisely, particularly as I am spending it with my husband and children.  I am so grateful for my family and this time I have with them.  Looking back on past memories (good and bad helps solidify this gratitude within me, and makes me proud of how far we’ve come.  On hard days, especially, it is easy for me to overlook this gift of time.  But I try to remind myself of the positive, and how beautiful and powerful being a parent truly is.  I hope to never forget how valuable this time is with my family, and how blessed I am to travel on this life journey with my husband and children.

Reframing Your Mindset: Going Through the Sequence of “I Have To,” “I Get To,” “I Want To,” and “I Love To”

We all have bad days, be it at work, at home, or in our extracurriculars.  There are things we would rather not do.  Sometimes I find my inner voice telling myself “I have to work.”  When I get a bit down and out about this and “woe is me”, it helps me to force myself to repeat the statement and replace “have to” with “get to.”  It’s totally true, I get to work.  This is not a guarantee in life.  No one is forcing me to do X or Y or Z in 99% of the cases in my life.  A lot of my actions are a choice.  And shifting my mind to think of things that way is totally eye opening and gives me more optimism.

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Life is a tough journey, and there is a lot we have to do. At the same time, though, a lot of these “have to” tasks are also blessings in disguise. Like the blessing of seeing an open ride in the park and taking the time to enjoy and play a bit.

Beyond simply repeating “I have to” statements with a counterpoint of “I get to,” I am starting to strive to then tell myself “I want to” to this, and as the going gets good and I am hopefully hitting a flow state, I realize that happily, “I love to” do this thing that initially I felt obligated and forced to do.

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If life gets messy and hard, embrace it.  Sure you “have to” clean up some things (like these colorful ice cream-covered faces), but it is important to also enjoy the journey and see how valuable life’s challenges can be.

For example, if I have a tough run workout on the docket for the afternoon, and I am not really feeling it, be it from fatigue, heat, or worry about other things on my to-do list, I force myself to go through this mental sequence of restating the task I am going to do that day, going from “I have to do this tough run” to “I get to do this tough run”.  Several months ago, I was injured, and I wasn’t able to run, and I remind myself how unhappy those times were. And now, I GET TO do this thing before me.  As I step onto the road and start moving my body, I remind myself “I want to do this tough run” to give my mind and body a meditative break from my tough work day, to give myself an hour of time to myself to just be me, to get stronger and more able to tackle my upcoming planned marathon in 2 months, and to just be a healthier and happier version fo me.  And, as the run sets in, and I hit my groove, I remind myself as the endorphins and runner’s high kicks in, that “I love to do this tough run” and this run is giving me great exercise, a way to enjoy the outdoors, and a way to get stronger and healthier.

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Sure, all things in life are loaded with good qualities and bad.  There are some great things to a job, for example, and yet there are several things we “have to do” that we would rather weren’t there, be it replying to mundane emails, filling out self evaluations or peer evaluations, attending a meeting, etc.  However, I think shifting my mindset to a bigger picture and realizing how blessed I am to have this job, I realize that nothing in life is guaranteed. And it isn’t so much “I have to do this” but I am blessed and honored to do this.  Having a tough day? Try reminding yourself that you are fortunate and breathing and alive, and that you get to take on this challenge called life.  There are struggles and hardship in life, and there is a lot in life that we wish was better.  However, we have freedom and autonomy as well.  The job and career I have chosen was chosen by my own freewill.  I get to do medicine each day, I get to be a wife and mother and I am blessed to have a strong, supportive family in my life.  I get to enjoy the passions and fun things in life, be it cooking, eating, reading, running, or playing with my kids.  Reminding myself when I am pessimistic that I get to do things in this life has helped me reframe my negative “have to” thoughts, and led me to be more thankful and mindful of all the things that I get to do, and want to do, and love to do.

The Gift of Independence

Happy 4th of July to you all!

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I think Independence Day naturally makes me think of the gifts I have. Sometimes, we can take the gift of independence and freedom for granted.  But when this is threatened -e .g. our time or our resources or our health are taken from us, we start to realize the blessings we truly have.

Something I’ve strived for more and more is protecting my gift of time.  When I have control and autonomy over my schedule, I feel so much more free.  Of course, you cannot control everything in life.  There are things I wish I had more control over, always.  But at least having some semblance of control of more of my day brings me more joy and happiness.  One way I have done that in the last year is changing jobs.

I am truly grateful for my new opportunity to practice telemedicine.  This gives me an interesting new way to develop care to patients.  And as an incredible bonus, I am able to work from home.  This has freed up a bunch of my energy and time, and mental bandwidth, as it has eliminated a need for a commute.

My new job has also given me more autonomy in setting my schedule so I can juggle my other responsibilities as wife and mom, and so I can take care of me via my hobbies and self care.  In turn, I think this has given me a greater sense of that elusive concept pf “Work Life Balance.”  I think it is impossible to do multiple things all perfectly, but I think you learn to maximize as much as you can, to get all of your buckets “good enough” so you are happy and functioning.

As I reflect on Independence Day this weekend, I will work on keeping gratitude at the top of my mind.  There are so many things we have to be thankful for in the United States.  Sure, there are things that could be better – life is never perfect.  But I feel we have come very far in the last couple of decades.  And in the last 30-40 years, technology has brought many gifts to our society and to our nation.  Would you have believed many of us would be carrying a smart phone around, with the power not only to call each other, but also to check the Internet, which contains such a huge wealth of knowledge it is difficult to fathom?

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So much to be grateful for this year, including freedom to spend more time with these two cuties.

Again, Happy 4th of July and happy Independence weekend.  I hope you too can find things to be grateful for.  As the next few days go by, I would hope you find some time to reflect on our country’s gift of independence, and the great things our nation has to offer.

The Power of Gratitude

Practicing Gratitude

This busy world is full of “To Do” lists and distractions galore.  One thing that has really helped me gain a different and happier perspective is the practice of gratitude.  My practice of gratitude is still a work in progress.  However, I find that the more I work at it, the easier it gets.  And the better I feel about myself and about those around me.

Rare moment of stillness as my children pose for the camera.

A few of the things I have started to do:

Physically writing down what I am grateful for. This helps use muscle memory and makes the items I am thankful for seem more real and hard to forget.

Thinking about things beyond my control, at the start of my day, and at the end.  This helps me to frame my day, and also keeps me humble.  I may feel like I can control a lot of things, but there is so much in life that is happenstance and chance.  This is not something to bring fear or unhappiness.  Rather, it should bring wonder each and every day.  So much in this life is a blessing.

Best effort at a selfie with the kids. And yes, my daughter, Maddie, is enjoying a cookie in between takes. Priorities, priorities.

Go to bed each night thinking of my family.  My family is undoubtedly the thing I am most thankful for.  I smile and laugh to myself recounting some of the craziness and silliness that has happened that day.  I try to capture some of this with photos and notes to myself.  But it is amazing how many little memories are built each hour, each day, and each week.  Time really does fly by.   Today is a gift, and I try to live more in the present, rather than dwelling on the past or fretting over the future.

Future plans: A Gratitude Journal

These are my simple starting points, that have at least gotten the ball rolling for me.  In time (perhaps as a New Years Resolution), I hope to start a gratitude journal.  That should be a more concrete way to record some of my thoughts and feelings. It should be fun to look back on things I may have forgotten.

Gratitude: Turning Negative Thoughts Around

For now, though, I think what I have started has built a daily routine that changes my perspective for the better.  It is easy to get down on things in the world and get down on myself when things are not going well.  This approach of gratitude helps reframe my thoughts in a healthier and more productive way.

Recent date night with my best friend and husband.  Definitely grateful for having him as my partner for life!

Improving Your Outlook

Looking on the Positive Side

I have been looking more consistently at the “optimistic” side of things lately.  And it has totally turned my day to day activities around, for the better!  Instead of dreading a long tedious day at work, I look at the positives, with each minute and each hour.  How can I help my next patient? What things can I learn from him or her? What makes this fellow human being interesting and valuable?  Also, I look inward every now and then and take stock in what accomplishments I have made.  Look at how far I have come!  Several years into practice, I now have the experience and confidence to make decisions that I would agonize over for several minutes.

What about all the Bad Stuff Out There?

I know, I know, you read or watch the news and you cannot help but see all of the negativity out there. You sometimes cannot help but yield to the pessimism that surrounds us.  But, it really matters how you perceive and look at things, since your attitude has a huge bearing on how you feel.  I also think that having this positive outlook will improve your gratitude and thankfulness for all of the good in your life.  And this will make you a better person!

Me and Luca. This little guy always manages to get me smiling and thankful!

I credit my more positive attitude to my binge-listening of “Optimal Living Daily,” a free podcast that reads short clips from various personal development blogs out there.  Totally digestible, as they are short chunks of high yield information.  I wish I had found this earlier!  This is a great way to break up your morning commute. I personally add them to my morning workout playlist, which makes my workout breeze by.  I also am addicted to Optimal Finance Daily, another offering from the Optimal Living Daily creators.  These short clips from financial blogs will help improve your financial health.  Please try them out!