In It For The Long Run…Sticking With It Even When You Want to Bail

I completed my first 20 mile long run for this training cycle (yes, 20 whole miles…gulp!).  It was a steady buildup to this distance in my training cycle, so I have been slowly adding a couple miles to my weekly long run over the last few months.  Therefore, I knew mentally and physically I was ready for this.  However, there were several times in the run where I felt like quitting.  Some examples of what runs through my head sometimes: Hmmm…maybe 6 miles would be good enough.  My legs feel tired. It would be nice to walk. Or maybe walk home and take the day off.  Wow, that person is sitting on that swing. That looks so comfortable. Maybe I could take a quick break and enjoy the view, too.  11.5 miles sounds pretty good, I made it this far, that is a pretty good day.   (Yes, I am a running nerd and track my miles by the half mile. have alerts on my phone for every half mile I run.   I love to geek out on all the data!)

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When these thoughts of bailing out would crop to the surface though, I would argue back in my mind why it would be even better to stick it out. I envision how good it would feel to see the mileage posted on my completed run. Being able to check off my workout on my workout calendar. Personal satisfaction at a job completed as planned.

As long there isn’t anything truly unsafe keeping me from running, I will try to keep going. (Sometimes the weather is a factor. Or a worsening injury is brewing and running is hurting. Then, it is time to stop. Discomfort and fatigue from gaining stamina, athletic ability, and strength are good things. On the other hand, outright pain from a injury is bad. Sometimes it is hard to admit the difference. But in my heart, I can tell the difference as the run progresses. It is better to stop, cut the run short, and live to run another day.

Here are some mental tips I use to keep going on runs I should keep going on (I.e. as long as there is not a sidelining injury in the works, or as long as I won’t be swept away by hurtling winds and bad hail).

Take it 1 mile at a time.  I described in a past post the power of taking each mile as it comes, and focusing on the present. Indeed, this is a good reminder in life also that it is important to take time to be in the moment and not so future (or past) oriented.

Think about the end goal.  I try to visualize myself in my race.  What it will feel like to be trekking along on the course. All the fans.  All the noises.  The fun of the competition.  I remind myself that this training run is practice, and this practice will get me to that finish line.

Think about something I am thankful for.  Not everything in life goes well.  But there is a ton to be thankful for and not take for granted. I often think to my husband and kids.  I think how fortunate I have to be a part of their lives.  I try to think of something funny or silly from the day before, an “inside joke” if you will in our own small tight-knit family.  I remind myself that this discomfort is temporary.  And my runs also give me mental clarity and peace to tackle to stresses of my everyday life.

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These two smiling faces often come to mind and rescue me when I need mental distraction from the tedium of a long run.

Revel in my abilities.  Our human bodies are amazing machines. It is hard sometimes to fathom all that goes on inside of us, to keep us going.  Particularly amazing, in fact, is how I am able to keep on running.  And sometimes running crazy distances, like my recent 20 miler, or 26.2 miles.   The mind and body are capable of tremendous and sometimes mind-boggling things.  As I am running along and get tired or tempted to quit, I remind myself how amazing it is my legs are moving, or my arms or pumping, or my heart and lungs are moving the blood within me, propelling me cardiovascular wise on my run.

Think about fun things coming up on the day to come or week to come.  Pure distraction is a good technique as well.  I sometimes use the repetitive motion of my running as a way to zone out and start thinking about things on my to do list. I strategize how I will fit things in to my afternoon or the work week ahead.

Listen to some good music, audiobooks, or podcasts.  Again, distraction works wonders.  I try to have a good playlist on my phone available to turn to if I need some motivating beats.  And I also have several podcasts downloaded if I prefer to learn something on my runs.    If I am into an audiobook, I will have that downloaded to my phone too, and have that as an option to keep my mind occupied.

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As I have progressed and developed as a runner, I have learned the ability to persevere and continue on my quest each run, particularly when approaching a race.  I think one last thing that helps me get through a tough run is learning to accept things when they are good enough.  I think this is also good training for life – the stamina and grit I gain by sticking it out in a run translates nicely to mental fortitude in real life.  And sometimes, a “good enough” day in running or in my work day is just fine.  A tough long day ahead of me?  I can do it.  Heck, I’ve run 20 miles recently (and 26.2 miles before)…if I can do that, I can do anything.  I will just take it one minute and one hour at a time.

Not all runs will go perfectly.  I may need to bail out if my body can’t handle it, for example, if an injury is forming.  But I try to also accept the fact that not everything goes perfectly, and sometimes a run does not feel so great, and that’s okay.  There are good days and there are bad days.  The bad days, though, make the good days shine in comparison.  And the best thing after a run (good or bad) is that feeling of accomplishment!   That is probably what keeps me going, and keeps me coming back for more.

Reframing Your Mindset: Going Through the Sequence of “I Have To,” “I Get To,” “I Want To,” and “I Love To”

We all have bad days, be it at work, at home, or in our extracurriculars.  There are things we would rather not do.  Sometimes I find my inner voice telling myself “I have to work.”  When I get a bit down and out about this and “woe is me”, it helps me to force myself to repeat the statement and replace “have to” with “get to.”  It’s totally true, I get to work.  This is not a guarantee in life.  No one is forcing me to do X or Y or Z in 99% of the cases in my life.  A lot of my actions are a choice.  And shifting my mind to think of things that way is totally eye opening and gives me more optimism.

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Life is a tough journey, and there is a lot we have to do. At the same time, though, a lot of these “have to” tasks are also blessings in disguise. Like the blessing of seeing an open ride in the park and taking the time to enjoy and play a bit.

Beyond simply repeating “I have to” statements with a counterpoint of “I get to,” I am starting to strive to then tell myself “I want to” to this, and as the going gets good and I am hopefully hitting a flow state, I realize that happily, “I love to” do this thing that initially I felt obligated and forced to do.

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If life gets messy and hard, embrace it.  Sure you “have to” clean up some things (like these colorful ice cream-covered faces), but it is important to also enjoy the journey and see how valuable life’s challenges can be.

For example, if I have a tough run workout on the docket for the afternoon, and I am not really feeling it, be it from fatigue, heat, or worry about other things on my to-do list, I force myself to go through this mental sequence of restating the task I am going to do that day, going from “I have to do this tough run” to “I get to do this tough run”.  Several months ago, I was injured, and I wasn’t able to run, and I remind myself how unhappy those times were. And now, I GET TO do this thing before me.  As I step onto the road and start moving my body, I remind myself “I want to do this tough run” to give my mind and body a meditative break from my tough work day, to give myself an hour of time to myself to just be me, to get stronger and more able to tackle my upcoming planned marathon in 2 months, and to just be a healthier and happier version fo me.  And, as the run sets in, and I hit my groove, I remind myself as the endorphins and runner’s high kicks in, that “I love to do this tough run” and this run is giving me great exercise, a way to enjoy the outdoors, and a way to get stronger and healthier.

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Sure, all things in life are loaded with good qualities and bad.  There are some great things to a job, for example, and yet there are several things we “have to do” that we would rather weren’t there, be it replying to mundane emails, filling out self evaluations or peer evaluations, attending a meeting, etc.  However, I think shifting my mindset to a bigger picture and realizing how blessed I am to have this job, I realize that nothing in life is guaranteed. And it isn’t so much “I have to do this” but I am blessed and honored to do this.  Having a tough day? Try reminding yourself that you are fortunate and breathing and alive, and that you get to take on this challenge called life.  There are struggles and hardship in life, and there is a lot in life that we wish was better.  However, we have freedom and autonomy as well.  The job and career I have chosen was chosen by my own freewill.  I get to do medicine each day, I get to be a wife and mother and I am blessed to have a strong, supportive family in my life.  I get to enjoy the passions and fun things in life, be it cooking, eating, reading, running, or playing with my kids.  Reminding myself when I am pessimistic that I get to do things in this life has helped me reframe my negative “have to” thoughts, and led me to be more thankful and mindful of all the things that I get to do, and want to do, and love to do.