Fall is around the corner! After a hotter than average summer, I am ready for cooler, brisker temperatures. I think my favorite season, in retrospect, is fall. New beginning for school year kids. Time for new wardrobes and school supplies. Better weather for my hobby of running (cooler weather will be MUCH appreciated after the hotness I’ve been getting used to for the past couple of months). And most crucially for me… it is the return of the pumpkin spice flavor in all of my favorite treats!
I’m currently enjoying my pumpkin spice coffee. Delicious. Makes me think of fall leaves, cooler temperatures, wearing my light jacket on a brisk walk. Recollections of Halloween and dressing the kids up in costumes. Fall races. Hay rides. The cusp of the holidays, with Thanksgiving around the corner. Time to be with family and friends, and give thanks for another year almost completed.
What do you think of my silly apple smile? Mama has a similar ear to ear smile as she is reveling in her favorite seasonal pumpkin spice blend coffee.
So please excuse me as I finish up my cup of delicious fall memories. And if you like pumpkin spice, you are in luck! The store shelves are getting stocked with this classic fall flavor, and you will be in heaven on your next shopping trip!
We all have bad days, be it at work, at home, or in our extracurriculars. There are things we would rather not do. Sometimes I find my inner voice telling myself “I have to work.” When I get a bit down and out about this and “woe is me”, it helps me to force myself to repeat the statement and replace “have to” with “get to.” It’s totally true, I get to work. This is not a guarantee in life. No one is forcing me to do X or Y or Z in 99% of the cases in my life. A lot of my actions are a choice. And shifting my mind to think of things that way is totally eye opening and gives me more optimism.
Life is a tough journey, and there is a lot we have to do. At the same time, though, a lot of these “have to” tasks are also blessings in disguise. Like the blessing of seeing an open ride in the park and taking the time to enjoy and play a bit.
Beyond simply repeating “I have to” statements with a counterpoint of “I get to,” I am starting to strive to then tell myself “I want to” to this, and as the going gets good and I am hopefully hitting a flow state, I realize that happily, “I love to” do this thing that initially I felt obligated and forced to do.
If life gets messy and hard, embrace it. Sure you “have to” clean up some things (like these colorful ice cream-covered faces), but it is important to also enjoy the journey and see how valuable life’s challenges can be.
For example, if I have a tough run workout on the docket for the afternoon, and I am not really feeling it, be it from fatigue, heat, or worry about other things on my to-do list, I force myself to go through this mental sequence of restating the task I am going to do that day, going from “I have to do this tough run” to “I get to do this tough run”. Several months ago, I was injured, and I wasn’t able to run, and I remind myself how unhappy those times were. And now, I GET TO do this thing before me. As I step onto the road and start moving my body, I remind myself “I want to do this tough run” to give my mind and body a meditative break from my tough work day, to give myself an hour of time to myself to just be me, to get stronger and more able to tackle my upcoming planned marathon in 2 months, and to just be a healthier and happier version fo me. And, as the run sets in, and I hit my groove, I remind myself as the endorphins and runner’s high kicks in, that “I love to do this tough run” and this run is giving me great exercise, a way to enjoy the outdoors, and a way to get stronger and healthier.
Sure, all things in life are loaded with good qualities and bad. There are some great things to a job, for example, and yet there are several things we “have to do” that we would rather weren’t there, be it replying to mundane emails, filling out self evaluations or peer evaluations, attending a meeting, etc. However, I think shifting my mindset to a bigger picture and realizing how blessed I am to have this job, I realize that nothing in life is guaranteed. And it isn’t so much “I have to do this” but I am blessed and honored to do this. Having a tough day? Try reminding yourself that you are fortunate and breathing and alive, and that you get to take on this challenge called life. There are struggles and hardship in life, and there is a lot in life that we wish was better. However, we have freedom and autonomy as well. The job and career I have chosen was chosen by my own freewill. I get to do medicine each day, I get to be a wife and mother and I am blessed to have a strong, supportive family in my life. I get to enjoy the passions and fun things in life, be it cooking, eating, reading, running, or playing with my kids. Reminding myself when I am pessimistic that I get to do things in this life has helped me reframe my negative “have to” thoughts, and led me to be more thankful and mindful of all the things that I get to do, and want to do, and love to do.
I think Independence Day naturally makes me think of the gifts I have. Sometimes, we can take the gift of independence and freedom for granted. But when this is threatened -e .g. our time or our resources or our health are taken from us, we start to realize the blessings we truly have.
Something I’ve strived for more and more is protecting my gift of time. When I have control and autonomy over my schedule, I feel so much more free. Of course, you cannot control everything in life. There are things I wish I had more control over, always. But at least having some semblance of control of more of my day brings me more joy and happiness. One way I have done that in the last year is changing jobs.
I am truly grateful for my new opportunity to practice telemedicine. This gives me an interesting new way to develop care to patients. And as an incredible bonus, I am able to work from home. This has freed up a bunch of my energy and time, and mental bandwidth, as it has eliminated a need for a commute.
My new job has also given me more autonomy in setting my schedule so I can juggle my other responsibilities as wife and mom, and so I can take care of me via my hobbies and self care. In turn, I think this has given me a greater sense of that elusive concept pf “Work Life Balance.” I think it is impossible to do multiple things all perfectly, but I think you learn to maximize as much as you can, to get all of your buckets “good enough” so you are happy and functioning.
As I reflect on Independence Day this weekend, I will work on keeping gratitude at the top of my mind. There are so many things we have to be thankful for in the United States. Sure, there are things that could be better – life is never perfect. But I feel we have come very far in the last couple of decades. And in the last 30-40 years, technology has brought many gifts to our society and to our nation. Would you have believed many of us would be carrying a smart phone around, with the power not only to call each other, but also to check the Internet, which contains such a huge wealth of knowledge it is difficult to fathom?
So much to be grateful for this year, including freedom to spend more time with these two cuties.
Again, Happy 4th of July and happy Independence weekend. I hope you too can find things to be grateful for. As the next few days go by, I would hope you find some time to reflect on our country’s gift of independence, and the great things our nation has to offer.
I have been looking more consistently at the “optimistic” side of things lately. And it has totally turned my day to day activities around, for the better! Instead of dreading a long tedious day at work, I look at the positives, with each minute and each hour. How can I help my next patient? What things can I learn from him or her? What makes this fellow human being interesting and valuable? Also, I look inward every now and then and take stock in what accomplishments I have made. Look at how far I have come! Several years into practice, I now have the experience and confidence to make decisions that I would agonize over for several minutes.
What about all the Bad Stuff Out There?
I know, I know, you read or watch the news and you cannot help but see all of the negativity out there. You sometimes cannot help but yield to the pessimism that surrounds us. But, it really matters how you perceive and look at things, since your attitude has a huge bearing on how you feel. I also think that having this positive outlook will improve your gratitude and thankfulness for all of the good in your life. And this will make you a better person!
Me and Luca. This little guy always manages to get me smiling and thankful!
I credit my more positive attitude to my binge-listening of “Optimal Living Daily,” a free podcast that reads short clips from various personal development blogs out there. Totally digestible, as they are short chunks of high yield information. I wish I had found this earlier! This is a great way to break up your morning commute. I personally add them to my morning workout playlist, which makes my workout breeze by. I also am addicted to Optimal Finance Daily, another offering from the Optimal Living Daily creators. These short clips from financial blogs will help improve your financial health. Please try them out!
