Like many of you, I am struggling with our “new normal” during the COVID-19 pandemic. It seems…
Like many of you, I am struggling with our “new normal” during the COVID-19 pandemic. It seems surreal what is happening to all of us.
Embrace the changing landscape, even if it includes a new virus. Or leopards.
The initial phase of quarantine was very hard for my family and me. My children were home from school and daycare. My husband also had times of working from home. Luckily, I am working from home with my job, and I am incredibly grateful for this. If I had to go out, I would constantly worry about my risks of contracting COVID-19 as a physician in an office, a hospital, or nursing home. There would likely be a need to isolate myself from my family. As I hug and kiss my family members each day, I remind myself of my special blessed situation working as a telemedicine physician full time, in my own home office each and every day.
As the nation begins to slowly reopen, it has also been difficult to see the spike in cases and the worry and angst this brings to all of us. I try to remind myself constantly, however, to control what I can control, and leave and let be other things I cannot.
I can wear a mask. I can practice frequent hand washing. I can social distance as often as is feasibly possible, limiting time out among strangers. If I get sick (which thankfully, I have not so far), I will stay home. I do this to keep myself and my loved ones safe, but also to do my part to protect others in the community.
Are these changes intrusive? At times and in ways, yes. It is hard not having usual activities, hard not to go out and do the things I am used to. Are they impossible to do? I do not think so. Yes, they can be challenging to maintain. This pandemic, however, is not finished.
The virus that causes COVID-19 is still out there, able to infect so many. It is incredibly contagious, and that is the public health concern and my worry as a physician. This contagious nature of the illness are what these measures (mask wearing, social distancing, frequent hand hygiene) are trying to combat. Until there is more definitive/effective therapy and hopefully prevention measures like a vaccine, this “new normal” will be here unfortunately for some time. It has been difficult for me to accept this, but I must. As above, I cannot control this pandemic, or make it go away. But I can control my thoughts and my actions. I can focus on keeping my mental health and physical health as optimized as possible. I can continue to live life in ways that keep me and my loved ones as safe and healthy as possible.
I have gravitated toward distance running since high school. I played soccer and also joined my high school track team, opting for the longer 3200 kilometer race. My tendency toward endurance sports likely means my body has more “slow twitch” fibers. Or perhaps I have a penchant for long, grueling processes. Whatever the case, I continued to run both in high school, and afterward.
Later, in college, I joined Naval ROTC, where running was a key part of “PT” (physical training) sessions and a component of the physical fitness test. I loved how much I improved with regular training exercises with my battalion. I also am a perfectionist and a habitual practicer, so I would run on the side to improve my performance at the PT sessions. This, of course, improved my physical fitness even further, and led me to further enjoy running.
Falling off of the Wagon, i.e. my Time Away from Running
My little nugget of Turkey energy, Madelyn, around 15 months of age. In the time period between my daughter’s birth and my son’s birth, I felt progressive fatigue. Kind of like I had just eaten a large Thanksgiving dinner, suffering the hangover effects of Tryptophan!
As I transitioned to medical school and then residency, busy life took over. I blamed my degree of stress and overwork on why I fell off of my beloved hobby. However, as I have mentioned in other posts, I now realize I was also suffering from Graves Disease, which caused exercise intolerance, shortness of breath upon exertion, and palpitations. I was unaware of this, thinking I was simply “lazy” and busy, and blamed the symptoms on poor conditioning and lack of willpower.
My Return to Running, with a Vengeance
Fast forward to the time of my Graves Disease diagnosis. Once the diagnosis was made, I realized my fatigue had a secondary cause. My mind was blown. And also, my confidence grew. I resumed running here and there. And then, to hold myself accountable, I made a “New Years Resolution” to run the Pittsburgh Half Marathon. The longest I had run to that point was probably in the ballpark of 3-5 miles. I was nervous but also excited to challenge myself, and see how far I could go.
I carried out the training dutifully, finding a free beginners training plan online. I entered the workouts into my calendar, and tried to juggle these around my already busy life. The first couple of weeks were pretty rough, I will not lie. I admit I was embarrassingly out of shape. But I persevered, primarily because I had set a goal. I had also registered for the race furthering my commitment. Internally, as well, I did not want to shortchange myself – I wanted to know if I could do it, and do it right!
I finished my first half marathon at age 35 in 2:23. Not too bad for my beginner-level training and several years of couch potatoed-ness preceding this!
A couple of days after finishing, I was incredibly sore. I got Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness with a vengeance, mainly because I did not train on hills leading up to this hilly race. I did not incorporate any strength training into my Half Marathon training. I also ran faster in the race than I had been training (the adrenaline made me do it!). However, mentally, I was buoyed and very proud of my accomplishment.
About 2 days after my race ended, I was motivated to next take on a marathon. I logged on that day to the Columbus Marathon website 2 days after the marathon, still sore and recovering, and (wisely or unwisely) registered myself for my first marathon..
I have been training for this marathon now for 3 months. I have a little less than 2 months to go before my race date. The training is grueling and time consuming. I will admit it is not all gumdrops and rainbows. I have good days, and bad days! I have also begun more strength training this time around, as I have read several books and articles highlighting why it is important to be a well rounded athlete.
I admit I neglected strength training altogether with my Half Marathon training, as I am busy and like to cut corners where I can. But incorporating about 10 minutes/day of body weight strength training most days of the week has improved my health, my sense of accomplishment, and my physical fitness. I think my physique has also improved. All of those smart trainers and exercise physiologists are correct – it pays off to be well rounded!
Thought the training is hard at times, I have come to look forward to my runs. I have also opted to move my runs to the morning. This ensures I get the workout done. I also feel accomplished and more productive early on in my day. The runs are a time for me to focus on me. I push my body with my harder runs, and let my subconscious take over with my easier runs. It is cathartic, a form of mindfulness and meditation for me nearly every day.
My husband, Matt, and son, Luca, two of the reasons that I want to keep fit and healthy each and every day!
Why Should You Exercise?
Now, I realize not everyone enjoys running. But I think there is something everyone’s body is inclined to doing, be it walking, swimming, cycling, etc. I challenge you to start doing this regularly, for example, 4-5x/week for 10 minutes a session at first. Pencil it in (electronically or physically) into your calendar. This will hold you accountable. You will feel guilty ignoring the event, or worse, scratching it off or deleting it. I also encourage you to consider working out in the morning. As I have mentioned, it gets the workout over and done. Also, your mind will be stimulated by the physical activity so early on in the day. I suspect you will perform better and be happier with the rest of your work and life activities later that day.
My daughter, Madelyn, one of the beautiful reasons I live a happy, fulfilled life!
Most importantly of all, exercising regularly not only helps your mental health, it also improves your physical health. You will have lower risk of heart disease, stroke, and diabetes. With the rising overweight and obesity epidemic in our society, I think these are all unfortunately becoming too commonplace in my day to day practice as a family physician. Please do your darnedest to avoid these diseases! It is so much better to avoid the diseases altogether, than to try to treat them once they are present. Part of your risks come from genetics, age, and sex, which I realize are not changeable. However, your physical activity and exercise habits are something you CAN change. Please do so!
I used to struggle with anxiety. I am very glad and fortunate that anxiety is no longer a constant part of me. I have been nervous and worrisome since my childhood. However, I had poor insight into the fact of how problematic this was. I assumed that the things I felt were what everyone else was feeling. I would get “butterflies” in my stomach each morning, particularly worse with school or work. When driving, this feeling of “flip flops” in my gut would happen each time I would anticipate a terrible accident when other drivers would turn or cut in front of me.
As a physician, when I patient would propose a challenging problem or symptom, I would feel the anxiety building in my mind and in my stomach. Speaking in front of crowds would create intense panic. I was so busy and hard headed to recognize that I was experiencing was pathologic. Now, however, I am blissfully anxiety-free. It took the absence of this nagging specter of anxiety for me to realize it for what it was.
My Thyroid Gland
How can this be, that my anxiety is now thankfully gone? I have a condition called Graves Disease. This is an overactivity in the thyroid gland, which is a butterfly-shaped gland that controls metabolism and growth. I was diagnosed with this after evaluation for worsening fatigue. I was placed on oral medicatios. About 3 months into treatment, my fatigue had considerable lessened. In addition, however, and totally surprisingly to me, the anxiety I had been feeling my entire life had disappeared.
Mama – This is getting boring! Move it along, please!
What is anxiety?
The medical definition of anxiety, per Merriam-Webster, is “an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physical signs (such as tension, sweating, and increased pulse rate), by doubt concerning the reality and nature of the threat, and by self-doubt about one’s capacity to cope with it”.
Wow. I wish I had looked this definition up sooner, and connected the dots in myself. However, if you do not realize you are having a problem, why would you seek out a solution? I am dabbling in the concept of mindfulness and meditation in the last few weeks. If you start adopting this practice, you will become more in tune with your own symptoms. I hope that by practicing mindfulness and meditation, you will be able to recognize when something is out of balance, and seek appropriate help.
I am so grateful for my improvement with my own therapy. Looking back, I realize that coping with my anxiety all of those years taught me ways to be resilient. I learned to focus and cope through the intense physiologic response of stress. However, I would never go back to the way I felt all of those years. I feel so much more balanced, calm, and free.
My family and me at Idlewild. I am so grateful for my good health, and my ability to fully appreciate and enjoy those I love!
If you also suspect that you have anxiety (or any other condition, for that matter) I encourage you to seek evaluation by a medical professional. The first step is recognition that something is wrong. This is often intuitive, feeling something out of sorts. The job of your provider is to then deduce from your symptoms what is plaguing you. If you are currently struggling with something causing you distress, I hope that you also reach peace soon, so you may achieve balance in your work and your home life.
