We all have bad days, be it at work, at home, or in our extracurriculars. There are things we would rather not do. Sometimes I find my inner voice telling myself “I have to work.” When I get a bit down and out about this and “woe is me”, it helps me to force myself to repeat the statement and replace “have to” with “get to.” It’s totally true, I get to work. This is not a guarantee in life. No one is forcing me to do X or Y or Z in 99% of the cases in my life. A lot of my actions are a choice. And shifting my mind to think of things that way is totally eye opening and gives me more optimism.
Beyond simply repeating “I have to” statements with a counterpoint of “I get to,” I am starting to strive to then tell myself “I want to” to this, and as the going gets good and I am hopefully hitting a flow state, I realize that happily, “I love to” do this thing that initially I felt obligated and forced to do.
For example, if I have a tough run workout on the docket for the afternoon, and I am not really feeling it, be it from fatigue, heat, or worry about other things on my to-do list, I force myself to go through this mental sequence of restating the task I am going to do that day, going from “I have to do this tough run” to “I get to do this tough run”. Several months ago, I was injured, and I wasn’t able to run, and I remind myself how unhappy those times were. And now, I GET TO do this thing before me. As I step onto the road and start moving my body, I remind myself “I want to do this tough run” to give my mind and body a meditative break from my tough work day, to give myself an hour of time to myself to just be me, to get stronger and more able to tackle my upcoming planned marathon in 2 months, and to just be a healthier and happier version fo me. And, as the run sets in, and I hit my groove, I remind myself as the endorphins and runner’s high kicks in, that “I love to do this tough run” and this run is giving me great exercise, a way to enjoy the outdoors, and a way to get stronger and healthier.
Sure, all things in life are loaded with good qualities and bad. There are some great things to a job, for example, and yet there are several things we “have to do” that we would rather weren’t there, be it replying to mundane emails, filling out self evaluations or peer evaluations, attending a meeting, etc. However, I think shifting my mindset to a bigger picture and realizing how blessed I am to have this job, I realize that nothing in life is guaranteed. And it isn’t so much “I have to do this” but I am blessed and honored to do this. Having a tough day? Try reminding yourself that you are fortunate and breathing and alive, and that you get to take on this challenge called life. There are struggles and hardship in life, and there is a lot in life that we wish was better. However, we have freedom and autonomy as well. The job and career I have chosen was chosen by my own freewill. I get to do medicine each day, I get to be a wife and mother and I am blessed to have a strong, supportive family in my life. I get to enjoy the passions and fun things in life, be it cooking, eating, reading, running, or playing with my kids. Reminding myself when I am pessimistic that I get to do things in this life has helped me reframe my negative “have to” thoughts, and led me to be more thankful and mindful of all the things that I get to do, and want to do, and love to do.