Today I turn 40! At 40, I feel I am right at middle age. I sure hope to live longer than 80, but reaching 80 seems like a decent and reasonable life span I can achieve in this day and age. Of course, I have no control over how long I may get to be on this planet. But I will do what I can to optimize both the quantity and quality of my life through what I can control: my choices and decisions in life and my mindset. I am by no means perfect, and I never will be. But I feel that by being a work in progress, I can hopefully live a healthier, fuller, and fulfilling life.
Do I feel 40? Sometimes, but sometimes not. Some days, for sure, I do, when I get a tight or strained muscle (thank goodness for massages!), or my joints in my hands or feet ache a bit, I am out of touch with the youngest generation I am seeing as a patient (I am still blown away there are college aged “adults” who were born when I graduated high school. Insane). Or when I see the wrinkles (ahem, “lines of dignity”) as I examine my face. I feel also, though, that I am just getting started in this thing called adulthood. I get a sense I just finished high school, college, and med school a short time ago. I cannot shake the feeling that I just got married, bought our house, and had our two kids a “year or two ago.” Reality hits, though, and I realize these milestones are all many years behind me. (And don’t even remind me I graduated high school over 2 decades ago!)
My hope for this day is simply to reflect and stay in the moment and chill. I don’t have any grand plans for this day. I am thankful that I have a rare day off from work. And that my to-do list today is short. I have a rare moment of quiet in this house as the kids are at school and my husband is at work. My pet kitten, Oscar, is keeping me quiet (and sometimes rambunctious) company today as well as I reflect.
I am grateful for this quiet, slower moment to myself without hustle and bustle. I like this quiet day off to truly analyze where I am at. Today, I am happy I get to slow down and simply to think about where I am now, where I have been, and where I hope to go. My goal for the coming year is to continue to nourish my career, my relationships, and my self growth. I realize life is about tradeoffs and time is finite, so I cannot tackle all of these all at once, nor can I maximize everything or make everything perfect. But I hope to make myself just 1% better this year in my professional life and my personal life. And I hope to treat myself well and accept “good enough” when it truly is sufficient and all that I need. And as each year goes forward, I hope I can keep compounding another 1% improvement each and every year to reach the very best version of me.