We all have bad days. Let’s face it – life isn’t always perfect. I think having a great day is awesome, but things cannot always go the way you want them to. The less perfect days for me, though, make the better days seem even better and more enjoyable. I hope that through planning and optimism, though, I can keep the bad days to a minimum. I cannot prevent all bad days from happening, so I do have things that have helped me persevere through the bad days.
As an homage to the children’s book by Judith Viorst, here are things I have done to help me get through a terrible, no good, very bad day.
Remind myself that “This too shall pass.”
Bad days are not going to last forever. Even a bad situation will eventually end e.g. a meeting that is not going well, or a workout that is not going to plan. I try to remind myself that there is “light at the end of the tunnel” and if I stick it out, I will get through this rough patch. (And probably I will be better/stronger for it.)
Focus on the positive.
It can be easy to dwell on what is not going well, and to commiserate with others on things in life that are not going the way we want them to. However, I think it helps me to force myself to start thinking positive. It may sound hokey, but I think an optimistic outlook gets me out of the doldrums of negativity faster. I think about what I like about my day so far. Wearing an outfit I love. A perfect, hot cup of coffee. An appreciative patient. A funny joke. Fixating on the positive a bit helps me approach the negative with some resilience.
Think of setting a good example for my kids.
My patience and energy level often wan if I am having a bad day. If I see myself, though, losing my temper more easily, I realize this is not a good example to set for my kids. They, too, have bad days. I want to make sure I set an example of strength and positivity in the face of challenges, so they, too, can make it through any adversity, and to do it with grace. All of us have eyes on us, watching what we do, be it family members, friends, coworkers, or clients. I try to remember that my behavior is a reflection of who I am. I want others to see me as patient, calm, and caring. I am not perfect. But if I find myself acting in a way I would NOT want my kids to be acting, I pause and take a step backward. And I try to pivot, rethink my approach to the situation, and to do it better.
Take a break.
I try to practice more self care on the bad days. Rather than trying to hunker down and work even harder (a bad habit I have been prone to in the past, as a workaholic), I force myself to at least take a 5 minute break. I walk around the office. Focus on my breathing. Look out the window at nature and appreciate what I have today, another day on this earth. Grab a snack or drink. Go for a workout after a bad day at work to “sweat it out” and work off the negative energy. Get a good night’s sleep. Things always seem fresher and better in the morning, don’t they?
Talk about it.
Getting the bad thoughts off of my chest certainly helps. I try to do this either on my own e.g. through journaling, or with someone I trust and love, like my husband. Getting the bad situation out in the open puts things in perspective. Sometimes I mull over a bad thought too much, and my mind blows it out of proportion. By speaking it out loud to another, or writing it out on paper, I can see the reality of the situation. And the situation may not be as bad as my mind is making it out to be. I try to, in other words, stop making a mountain out of a molehill.
Remind myself that I am not perfect, and life is not perfect.
Nothing in life is perfect. If it were, it would be boring and not very fun to live. Things can come up that are a bit out of the ordinary, and sometimes hard. New stuff can be scary and it is sometimes hard to know what to do in a different situation. Just observe any young child or toddler approaching a new situation to see this idea of “newness=scary” firsthand. But, these new imperfect situations and hurdles in life also give inspiration and a way to change. Sure, the imperfection sometimes leads to heartache, disappointment, and pain. But sometimes, there can be good that can come from imperfection.
I have observed imperfection of life, be it in my workday, or in my pursuits and passions (e.g. a workout where I just feel heavy or exhausted, and I need to stop halfway through). I think, though, this reminds me that I too am not perfect and shouldn’t expect to be. I am a work in progress, as we all are, and this journey of life gives us an opportunity to grow and change. The badness in life, too, can spark an idea within me, leading to creativity where I would least expect it. I may get an idea to improve something in my home, or an idea for something to write or read about, or get an idea to take on a new hobby to strengthen a weakness I have seen inside of me. I hope that I continue to see challenges and “bad days” in life as an opportunity to grow. And these bad days can serve as a reminder that the good days should be relished and appreciated all the more.